Dear Madam,
I am a Class 12 student. As classes were held online, I have not been able to concentrate. Though I will be writing board exams and entrance tests this year, I am not able to study as I am constantly distracted. Kindly advise.
Rohan
Dear Rohan,
What you are experiencing is something many students are facing in the current times. It is hard to concentrate online for long stretches. And sometimes the anxiety of exams and the anxiety about the future becomes so overwhelming that we use distraction as a coping mechanism. It is important to recognise your circumstances as different from what you had expected them to be. At a time when so much of what is happening in the world seems to be out of our control, there is an added trigger to get overwhelmed. Try to break up your goals into small manageable steps. Also, try to focus on your work in small chunks of 20 minutes with a two-minute gap after every 20 minutes. Also, if you think that anxiety is what is distracting you, reach out to a counsellor and talk through your anxiety and concerns.
Dear Madam,
I have been searching for a job for a few months but have not yet secured one. My close friend got a job recently, but he hadn't told me that he had applied for it, whereas whenever I applied or got to know about a vacancy, I would inform him. Now he tends to avoid me, and I find the situation strange. Please advise.
Ahmed
Dear Ahmed,
It is possible that your friend may be feeling guilty for not telling you or feeling bad because he got a job and you didn’t. The important thing to recognise is that you cannot control another’s thoughts and feelings. What he is thinking and feeling about this is not something you can control or change. The only thing you can control are your own thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, how you are interpreting what is happening, and how much you are allowing things to affect you. So if you are disturbed by your friend’s behaviour you can choose to talk to him about it and let him know how it affected you, or you can choose to not let it affect you one way or the other and move on. There is no right or wrong choice in this. It is just about what you are most comfortable doing. Talking to a counsellor can help you gain a new perspective on any situation.
Dear Madam,
I am an engineering student. I am weak in mathematics. So, please suggest some ways to improve my math-skills to improve my overall score. I am worried about my future, as it is very difficult to get a job these days.
Prathiksha Shivanand
Dear Prathiksha,
I understand your concern around getting a job because the economy has slowed down. However, do remember, that this too shall pass, and eventually the economy will turn around and jobs will return. In the meantime, it is important not to lose confidence and belief in yourself. Also, don’t assume that you will not find a job. The situation may change when you finish your course and enter the job market. Use the time to learn more skills in the area that you want to work in, as well in areas of personal development. Remember, this is not a race, but a journey and sometimes on that journey you may slow down and sometimes you may speed up. The important thing is to complete the journey successfully, rather than drop it mid-way. The best way to decide on which skills to improve is to find something that is a fit between your interests and allows you to play to your strengths. You are the best judge of that. Good luck.
Dear Madam,
I am 16 years old. I feel very low sometimes. I feel like there is no one who can support and help me grow up to be an independent person. Please help.
Raghav
Dear Raghav,
It is important to be able to interpret the world in a way that is helpful for us. It is also important to understand ourselves better and accept ourselves. Talking to a counsellor about this can be very helpful. I am wondering if you have a counsellor in your school who can help you. Otherwise, you can reach out to some free helplines that offer counselling support. All the best.