Dear Madam,
I am an engineering student in the third year of CS. I love to cook and have been doing so since I was a kid. Until very recently it did not flash that I may want to pursue a career in culinary arts. I can't think of anything else now, what do you think I should do? I don't want to quit engineering, but this is causing me distress.
Adithya
Dear Adithya,
One can always pursue a passion outside of one’s professional and technical education. Since you do seem to be enjoying your engineering and don’t want to quit it, it is best to finish the degree and then decide how you want to pursue your passion — do you want to make it your profession, or do you want to pursue it outside of your profession, or any combination of the two. It is absolutely okay to pursue the path that you enjoy and there are many success stories of people who opted out of the technology field and entered into the food business. Pursuing your degree and completing it gives you an education that will never go to waste, no matter what you do later in life. The learning always stays and proves to be useful. Good luck!
Dear Madam,
Ever since the pandemic started, I don't know if I have become lazy. I am unable to get out of bed and even then, feel very lethargic. My parents scold me every day but I don't know how to fix it. I feel no motivation in my studies as well. How do I fix this?
Sara
Dear Sara,
The pandemic has impacted and changed all of us, each in different ways. Lethargy, tiredness, inability to focus, lack of motivation, apathy, anxiety, depression, isolation are some of the things people are experiencing at the current time. I think it will be very helpful for you to seek professional help from a counsellor to help you talk through your concerns, your emotions and your thoughts and learn some coping skills to get onto the other side of this very challenging time. The next time your parents scold you, please let them know that you think you need some help so can they arrange that for you. Mental health is important and needs to be taken care of.
Dear Madam,
I am struggling to concentrate on my studies. I am addicted to my mobile phone. I want to do many things to explore and develop myself but due to my addiction, I am not able to concentrate. How can I overcome mobile addiction?
Mallikarjun
Dear Mallikarjun,
It would be good for you to get the help of a mental health professional, a counsellor, or a coach, to help you understand your mobile addiction and work on a plan to help you overcome it. It is important to find your motivation that will help you overcome your addiction. There is possibly a vacuum that the addiction is filling or a need that it is fulfilling. Or an escape from something. It is important to understand what you may be escaping from, why you need the need to escape from it, and then work with you to overcome those challenges. All the best!
Dear Madam,
I am in Class 12 and have been doing well in my studies. However, I get scared during exams as my family puts a lot of pressure on me. Even when I score good marks, I am not happy. This is always the case at my home, and I have many fights about this. How do I overcome this problem? How do I communicate my problems to my parents?
AK
Dear AK,
Exam anxiety is a very common phenomenon because we perceive exams to be this threatening event – a dangerous situation that forces our body’s “stress” response to get activated. And one such response is the “freeze” response which happens during exams. Even if you study well, this response may cause you to blank out during an exam or get so scared that you are unable to answer the exam properly.
It is important to understand what your fears are related to the exams. Name your fears. Understand what is the worst that can happen if that fear was to come true. Most of the time you will realise that even if the fear were to come true, it will not be as big of a problem as we make it out to be in our heads. Exams are just an objective evaluation that the world uses. Much more important than that is your subjective evaluation of yourself and your worth. If you believe in yourself and your worth, then you do not allow the marks in an exam to define you, and therefore, those marks are not such a scary thing. So, get some help to boost your self-esteem and start believing in yourself! When you allow your marks to define you then the exams can become very scary and threatening. Believe in yourself so that no matter how many marks you get you are down knocked down. Good luck!
Dear Madam,
I am a college student. I have many goals in my life and my family has a lot of expectations. I have a crush on a boy in my class. My family thinks relationships are a distraction from studies, and I feel guilty that I have these feelings. I don't know what to feel or how? Please give me a suggestion on how to manage my studies and these feelings.
Student
Dear Student,
Having a crush, or experimenting with a relationship, is very normal at this age. It is not something you need to feel guilty about or believe that you are doing something wrong. But a relationship can be a distraction and demanding of time. If the relationship is strong, it can have a positive motivating effect, but if the relationship is not so strong it can take an emotional toll that will get in the way of your being able to focus on your longer-term goals. So, it is not wrong to get into a relationship, but it will increase the pressure on your time and be something that you will need to manage in addition to your work. The choice is really right, and either choice is okay — there is no right or wrong answer here.