When I pointed out that a friend’s joke bordered on sexist humour, I was told, “it’s just a joke. Lighten up! He is a good man. He respects you,” and in turn, I was branded as being humourless and an overly sensitive feminist. The comedy world has been a bridge to bring people together and spread joy. As everything has its shadow, the comedy has out-grouped from the beginning with its proudly unconscious sexism (sometimes deliberately). It’s like casually bracketing people as a few men who have sex with another man and then sign off by saying, “I am straight, don’t get me WRONG.” Or that they are not being sexist and that it was JUST A JOKE!
Today, we see an aggressive pattern among many men on social media and outside. The Lucknow incident of a woman harassing a cab driver or another case where a woman allegedly physically assaulted a Zomato delivery man are a few recent observations showcasing why men are sharing their aggressive distress. Indeed, we see and do not tolerate the actions of such women. The question is, do you know the overgeneralisation and diversion of feminist and queer movements here? We ignore to see the internal disorder of existing diversity’s forced resistance, subversion, and transgression.
We all know that feminist movements, LGBTQIA movements, and advocacy on sexism have not been openly welcomed in the dominant space of men and their followers. It is disheartening to see many pseudo-feminist and aggressive, competitive men maneuvering it to paralyse hundreds of years of struggle for gender equality. I am exposed to everyday sexist jokes of femininity on mass spaces and counter them individually. This discrimination runs deep under various gender lines. The ignorance of sexist jokes needs to be seen with the acceptance of diversity. Not some sympathetic pity acceptance, the genuine acceptance of choosing inclusivity and making the world a safe space for all. In a world full of misunderstandings of the theory of equality and feminism, safe space has been a fiction. Many feminine voices (regardless of gender) risk labels, ignorance, and aggression for challenging the sexist narrative.
So, do not suppose that my silence or argument to your sexist joke makes me humourless! Sir, I am humorous. You humour me with your narration and justification, which fails to understand the triggering of thousands of years of oppression on women, the LGBTQIA+ community, and gender and sexual biases. You humour me with your unintended sexist joke which perceives you to be more manly. My silence is the loudest laugh to your insecurity of my empowerment as feminine energy. Sorry to know that you feel less masculine without challenging me every day in every space. I intend you to know, your sexist humour doesn’t make us less of anything. It’s a joke on your insensitivity.
(The author is a performer, poet & feminist activist who has left a mark with her art, poetry, LGBTQIA+ talks, and feminist ideologies. This column will share untold stories of inclusivity & diversity.)