For Manvi Pant, 2021 was life-changing in so many different ways.
“I conceived. Things were flowing well…as they should in a normal pregnancy. Then, something fell out of place and complications started brewing — one after the other. Around my third trimester, when I went for a check-up, my gynaecologist told me the baby wasn’t putting on weight — there is a high impediment in the blood flow and the nutrient flow — if we don’t operate immediately, the baby may not survive.”
The news was absolutely devastating for Pant and her husband Piyush.
“We had a maternity shoot planned the next day. Everything was ready, everything. And here I was standing in the corridor trying to make sense of the words. My doctor looked me in the eye and said, “Manvi, we are anticipating a storm ahead. Be prepared.” As the Gurugram-based writer puts it: “The following two months were the most trying times of our lives.”
But Pant chose acceptance over fruitless anger. She chose Wabi-Sabi. “I could lament endlessly about why this happened to me, what wrong I did to deserve this, or simply accept the situation and try to live in the present moment. For my baby, I chose the latter. I decided on strength and resilience. I did not want any negative emotion to percolate in him while I gave him Kangaroo mother care.” (A method of care for preterm infants involving skin-to-skin contact.)
In this post-pandemic world, as many of us focus on immunity-boosting lifestyles and healthier diets, others are seeking out ancient Japanese philosophies and practices like Wabi-Sabi, Ikigai and Shinrin-Yoku. One wonders what are people seeking...is it happiness? Relief from the everyday grind? An antidote to anxiety? Or perhaps an easy way out from the inevitable stressors of life? Whatever the purpose of seeking, seeking many truly are. And the thing with Japanese wellness practices is that they project an innate sense of calm and possibility that makes them terribly attractive. In their apparent simplicity is the promise of change, of renewal. These wellness practices, many believe, help one to truly understand the mind-body-nature-connect and fully appreciate how life can become more beautiful and meaningful.
Resilience, realisation, acceptance
So, what is Wabi-Sabi and how did it help this new mom cope? Wabi-Sabi is ancient wisdom from Japan, heavily influenced by Buddhist thinking and deeply rooted in the reverence the Japanese feel for nature. A philosophy and a practical guide — it gently guides you to acceptance, to appreciate the fleeting nature of all things, and to understand the beauty in flaws, imperfections and rawness. Rather than chasing some idealised (Westernised) image of beauty and perfection, it tells you to revel in the impermanence and imperfections of life.
Pant explains: “A classic example of Wabi-Sabi is a Japanese art form called Kintsugi (the art of repairing ceramics with gold inlay so that the finished product is more enduring and more beautiful). In Kintsugi, cracks (mental or physical) form an intrinsic part of our lives. They are seen as shreds of evidence of those storms that could not wither us away. They are those scales that measure our strength and resilience. The beauty of Kintsugi lies in ‘recovery’. The process of recovery is accompanied by learning and with the heat of learning ripens the fruit of knowledge which is essential for self-realisation.” And such knowledge helped Pant overcome the most difficult time of her life.
Soaking in the green
Motherhood proved to be a life-changing and learning experience for Pant. And so it has been for Delhi-based Dipika Sinha too. Becoming a parent made her think back to her own childhood, growing up in Assam and Darjeeling. “I wanted my son to experience nature up close, climbing trees, watching birds, rolling on the grass… Before the digital era, we all had that — running barefoot, playing games in nature — unlike today where children are involved in online games. Even we adults are disconnected from nature. That’s how I came across Shinrin-Yoku (literally, ‘forest bathing’ in Japanese.) I read up on it and realised that this is what I wanted to do, lead people into nature…spend time just being present… using all our senses, being mindful in nature.” That’s how Sinha became a certified ‘forest bathing’ guide.
Shinrin-Yoku is literally about soaking in the atmosphere of a forest and by doing so, helping yourself heal. By conducting short retreats in Uttarakhand, Sinha and her team take participants through slow walks, treks, guided meditation practices and deep breathing exercises. Many participants take their children along. Like Noida-based couple and Montessori school co-founders Niti and Nishant Gupta who attended one with their seven-year-old daughter, Swara. “During the pandemic, we were confined to our homes, everything was online. I didn't really miss going to the mall; for me, it was more about getting out of this concrete jungle. And at the retreat, our daughter never complained, she was never bored. She was naturally engaged. It was a physically challenging and also, a very liberating experience for us,” says Niti Gupta.
The retreat left her with a greater realisation of how insignificant man is in the larger scheme of things. “We have a very short lifespan, a second, in the existence of the Universe. How dare we misuse it, how dare we think we are the supreme beings,” she exclaims.
The trouble with perfection
Her experience of Shinrin-Yoku has now left Niti Gupta determined to lead a more connected life, in every possible way. And that consciousness is exactly what you need to be happy, both personally and professionally, says Indian Institute of Ahmedabad-alumnus, Kavita Neelakantan. Coimbatore-based Neelakantan is a career development and executive coach with her own firm. And Japanese philosophies like Wabi-Sabi and Ikigai are what she swears by. She has internalised Wabi-Sabi throughout her own life path by not seeking perfect outcomes, always focusing on the process and learning from it. “I got into career coaching because I saw a lot of my peers, all very successful by stereotypical standards…in this place of "non-aliveness", not feeling connected to the work that they're doing, asking questions about what next, what more... We all ask those questions from time to time. But if you’re open to this idea of Wabi-Sabi, then you understand it’s not a straight path; you understand it’s not about chasing perfection or chasing outcomes,” she explains. “You understand that sometimes, you don’t need to find this big ‘purpose’ in life or work. Why not find purpose in little things, like taking your children to school or in spending time with them?”
Neelakantan observes that inculcating Wabi-Sabi is also about understanding what Ikigai means. Ikigai is a mysterious concept in Japanese culture that can be roughly translated as “the happiness of always being busy” according to the bestselling book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. “Often people have this sense of feeling stuck in their career, but if you’re okay with some imperfection, you’ll keep moving forward and that’s what really matters. Otherwise, you’ll keep being hard on yourself and that is truly the worst feeling.” These are all life lessons and lived experiences that have hit home hard and true, especially post the pandemic, adds Neelakantan.
On her part, Manvi Pant, who we began our story with, feels only pure joy today as she revels in the mischievous gurgles of her growing baby boy, Devasya. Yet more than ever, she feels we must learn to acknowledge how unpredictable life is. “Who knew a pandemic would arrive and sweep the globe within months? That’s why we need to embrace ‘impermanence.’ That’s why these philosophies matter more than ever. There is only a fraction of what you can control. So, instead of making long-term plans, make the most of what’s in front of you — this exact moment — the one you are living right now. Soak it all up, so it becomes a precious memory. More than anything, let Wabi-Sabi be your calm and comfort in chaos. Let it be your ease in the hustle. Let it be your clarity in complexity."
Wabi-Sabi for a fitter you?
Can accepting the process of ageing and acknowledging that change is a constant, lead you to better fitness? Dr Sheela Nambiar, a lifestyle medicine physician, believes it can. “Wabi-Sabi tells you nothing is perfect, nothing is permanent, nothing is finished. Once you internalise that, you realise it signifies the very essence of taking care of oneself for the right reasons, using the right methods,” stresses Dr Nambiar who is also an obstetrician-gynaecologist, dividing her time between Chennai and the Nilgiris.
Therefore, what you need to do is understand that:
* Nothing is perfect. Life situations are never perfect. You make the best of what you are left with.
* You may not have the time, you make the time — that’s what you do when you prioritise your fitness.
* Chasing perfection is a waste of energy as is trying to be like someone else. Rather, enjoy the moment, make it more meaningful and establish healthy life habits.
* Eat mindfully, exercise sensibly, and stay active throughout the day.
* Nothing is permanent. Work with the flow, focus on building strength, maintaining stamina, and improving flexibility.
(Excerpted from Dr Nambiar’s book, ‘Gain to Lose: An Essential Guide to Losing Fat by Gaining Muscle’)
Shinrin-Yoku it away!
Shinrin-Yoku or forest bathing allows our mind and body to open up to the healing possibilities of Mother Nature. It’s an ancient Japanese art in which the practitioner visits a green/wooded area and is mindful of all the five senses i.e. touch, taste, smell, hearing, and sight. The practice is said to reduce stress levels, elevate your mood and keep your body, mind and soul healthy. Here are some tips about how to practice Shinrin-Yoku:
* Why not visit your local park?
* Keep all gadgets away for the duration of your stay.
* Immerse yourself in the sights, sounds and smells around you.
* Feel the leaves rustle, the branches sway.
* Let your fingertips touch the grass.
* Walk barefoot on the earth, feel grounded
* Listen to birdsong/animal calls
(Info courtesy: www.foresttherapyindia.com)
Ready-reckoner
Here's a quick guide to the most popular Japanese concepts and what they essentially mean:
* Wabi-Sabi: As mentioned earlier, this is the Japanese philosophy that stresses seeking beauty in imperfection. It stresses acceptance and tells us that it is only from an acceptance of how life is and things are that growth is possible.
*Nagomi: The Japanese believe there is no real translation for this word or concept. In its barest terms, Nagomi is peace achieved through wellbeing and emotional balance. Achieving Nagomi is achieving harmony (not to be confused with achieving perfection).
*Kintsugi: Essentially the name of a technique to repair or fix broken pottery with precious metal — gold, liquid silver or lacquer — it teaches us through this show-and-tell method to embrace and celebrate flaws instead of hiding them. It tells us that when we repair things that are broken, they can become better, more beautiful and resilient.
* Ikigai: In its simplest explanation, Ikigai means finding a reason to "jump out of bed in the morning". Ikigai is finding that elusive purpose that lights you up from within — a purpose that is in harmony with your skills, needs and desires.