We all know the story of that famous traveller who set off on his ship, lost his way en route yet stubbornly refused to ask directions; and landed up in America instead of India. Now if only Mrs Columbus had gone along too, she’d have stopped mid-ocean to ask a passing boat for clearer directions to Bombay, and they’d have reached India on time.
These fundamental gender traits continue to define how men and women differ over travel. Men hate to waste that valuable one minute to stop the car and ask a passerby how to get back on the highway, preferring to go another forty miles before realising the right turn was wrong and the left turn was right. Whereas women will insist that the passerby even gets into the car, take the wheel and drive them on for the rest of the journey.
History of travel
The earliest evidence of men and women travelling with a common purpose was centuries ago when as cave people, they travelled looking for food. This journey sometimes ended when they themselves turned into food for a hungry bear.
After the discovery of spices and silks, some adventurous young men began the concept of business travel, setting off in ships to trade with different countries. Though the secret reason for this was mileage points (also known as frequent sailing points) that some travellers like Vasco Da Gama and Magellan accumulated in thousands, to enable further travel to unexplored lands.
Women rarely went on these expeditions. That’s why the world’s top ten explorers don’t feature women’s names at all. Till Nickelodeon TV felt sorry about this gender disparity and chronicled the adventures of Dora the Explorer for young children. Underwater travel too remained the bastion of males for years, as they bravely went diving below the ocean — looking for treasures from sunken ships. However, in space travel, females got there first. The very first cosmonaut to orbit the earth was a Russian girl-dog named Laika.
Travel & the gender divide
Travel today has many choices and is sought after by men and women, though they differ vastly in purpose. A very good test of marriage is surviving the travels involved in a honeymoon, and divorce lawyers would do well if they set up shop next to the travel desk in honeymoon hotels.
Even while gazing at a spectacular sunset (alone) the newlywed wife is thinking of going to other remote places seen on TV. The newlywed husband is meanwhile happy in their room watching TV with the remote as the World Cup is on.
Of course, it all starts even earlier, with the packing. Women spend weeks over this art, making sure there’s space in their suitcase for a ketchup-stain removing vacuum cleaner should spills occur on the hotel carpet, plus a foldable beach umbrella even if it’s a mountain trek they’re going on.
Men on the other hand usually begin packing after the Uber has arrived to take them to the airport.
Women plan trips around clean toilets en route after meticulous research consulting friends. Men make do with a tree or two (the felling of rainforests once directly affected bookings around the Amazon). Women travel with the confidence that they have all the necessary emergency equipment in their handbags to set up home in the middle of a Tasmanian jungle should their plane crash land there. Men travel with the confidence that the index finger is a great substitute for a toothbrush which they forgot to pack.
The rise of package tours
Travel agents cleverly plan group trips after gathering insights on genders, finding today’s women love to travel far more than men. And that’s why we see Instagram accounts of happy women travelling alone but all together, separately.
Women groups are good at waking up at 4 am to get to a tropical forest thirty miles away, each carrying a portable kitchen and groceries to cook a sunrise breakfast on the hilltop, plus spare selfie sticks should somebody forget theirs. (However, I heard recently about a flight delay, as some heavy handbags in a ladies group tour had to be offloaded as the plane was unable to take off.)
I began to wonder if there were any couples at all that travel peacefully together without getting on each other’s nerves, wanting different things from a holiday. That’s why I was happy to see my good friends Maddy and Molly with great holiday tans and identical T-shirts that said ‘I need a Holiday to get over my Vacation!’
“So you’re back! Tell me what’s the worst and best thing about travel?”
“Well, the worst thing is cancellations of course, with the pandemic turning all our plans of homestay to stay-home…”
And the best?
“Those teeny free soaps from all the places we stayed in,” they said!
(He Said/She Said is a monthly column on gender issues— funny side up. The author switched to a career in Advertising/Travel Writing as world markets may have collapsed if she ever became an economist. Reach her at indubee8@yahoo.co.in)