"How does national security have anything to do with my sexuality," asked filmmaker Onir on Saturday as he recalled how his film's script based on the life of a former Indian Army officer who was gay was allegedly banned by the Ministry of Defence.
From the ministry to BJP MP Varun Gandhi, everyone discussed this potential project except trying to initiate a conversation with him, claimed the National Award-winning director, who is openly gay and a vocal advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights.
"In 2005, when I made my film My Brother... Nikhil, it was released with a U certificate without cuts. In 2022, when I was trying to make a film, which was inspired by an ex army man about his being gay, the script got banned by the Ministry of Defence.
"Forget about making the film! I was not creating something fictitious, and I meant no disrespect for them. Because my existence, I don't think, is disrespectful for anybody... If you can't accept me, too bad. Onir said during a session on the third day of the Jaipur Literature Festival.
The Bhutan-born filmmaker, known for directing films My Brother Nikhil", Bas Ek Pal, I Am and Sorry Bhai!, alleged he was informed via email that his script was "not approved".
"I kept asking, 'Tell me the reason, let's have a dialogue. I can come down to Delhi and we can talk about it'. Next thing I know, Varun Gandhi brought it up in the Parliament and everyone was discussing it, apart from having a discourse with me.
"I think the secretary of defence said 'it is derogatory for the Army and a threat to national security'... How does national security have anything to do with my sexuality?" he added.
The 53-year-old director, who co-authored I Am Onir and I Am Gay: A Memoir with his sister Irene Dhar Malik, said he was initially "reluctant" to pen his biography.
Onir said he told his sister during the Covid-19 pandemic that he was concerned about being "attacked" for writing a tell-all story of his life.
"Considering today's climate, when anything and everything can be attacked, I was a little worried. Also, if I write as myself, it has to be me, 'naked'. Otherwise I don't want to present a new (version) that's not me.
"It was again my sister who finally said 'You should write because I realised that you had no references growing up."
He also weighed in on how his talk on LGBTQ issues at the recently concluded Bhopal Lit Fest (BLF) was cancelled following threats of protest.
"I was on my way to the airport when I was told that there were certain protests planned by some group and the police couldn't guarantee my security. So I was dropped. I still have not been told what these groups are. I have the right to know who are these people who want to attack me and why. It's disgraceful of the organisers... to be cancelled last minute," he added.
According to the filmmaker, Indian films that are being made today tend to focus on the heteronormative society "accepting the LGBTQ community".
"My life is much beyond my sexuality... Have you ever seen a straight man in a closet? We haven't even started telling our stories. Narratives, talking specifically of Indian cinema, are still talking only about acceptance.
"We need to make films on stories that celebrate us, stories apart from the struggle. That's the focus of my work now that I want the celebration and happiness of our lives, where sexuality is a part of it, but it is not," he said.
Asked whether humour was an instrument, like in Karan Johar's films, to help include the LGBTQ members as part of the larger narrative, Onir said: "You laugh with me, I'm with you. If you laugh at me, it's not ok."
As someone who belongs to the minority community, he said, it was important for him to speak up for others.
The director, who believes people of a community must be represented by their own on screen, said transgenders were the "most misrepresented" in cinema, even more than lesbians or gays.
Following the Supreme Court's landmark verdict of decriminalising part of the 158-year-old colonial law under Section 377 of the IPC, which criminalised consensual unnatural sex in 2018, Onir said streamers had approached him so that they could "tick a box".
"Everyone needs to have some queer narrative. And when I send the stories that I want to tell, I'm often told 'We are taking baby steps. This is a little too much. Don't you have something lesbian? It's male fantasy'."
What is absurd, he said, was that people who claim to be "the upholders of Indian culture" constantly deny it.
"If we look at Mahabharata, and I think it's the world's oldest representation of a trans character, Shikhandi, who went to war and because of him the Pandavas won," he added.