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Most of us are judgemental listeners, i.e. we listen to respond to what is being said and rather than understanding and paying to the speaker. On the other hand, we must develop an attitude of being non-judgemental listeners by accepting people, not necessarily their ideas, with whom we disagree and not reflect our own biases or interrupt them unnecessarily. This means we should not see someone as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘’right’ or ‘wrong’. We must try to empathise with others, not giving much importance to the words spoken or the mannerisms. We must be genuine and loving and avoid any kind of confrontation.
Being non-judgemental has benefits, chief among them are: learning new things, growing as a person, being more optimistic and resilient when life’s adversities challenge us. One can develop a a truly non-judgemental attitude by following these:
Pause. Allow the speaker’s ideas to sink into your mind regardless of your likes.
Bring out the humility in you. You do not always know better than others. When you hear something you disagree with, avoid your first instinct to challenge it. Remember that there can be several perceptions and opinions on subjects.
Nothing is permanent. People, facts, ideas, perceptions and everything change. So give space and time to allow their roles.
Beware of your ego, which misleads you to think that you have reached the apex of being non-judgemental. You might just be at the threshold. To be truly non-judgemental, stop being judgemental about those who are judgemental.
Some of the adverse effects of being judgemental are:
You make snap judgements about people, only to regret later.
You blame people for something done inevitably under the prevailing circumstances.
You begin to wrongly believe that being judgemental is a superior trait.
We must not forget the role of divinity in our life. We are not as independent actors in life as we often think we are. We must remember what Lord Krishna empathetically declared: isvarah sarva-bhutanam hrd-dese rjuna tisthati. Bhramayan sarva-bhutani yantrarudhani mayaya (BG 18-61) (The Supreme Lord is in everyone’s heart, and is directing the wanderings of all living entities, who are seated as on a machine, made of the material energy.) Humans cannot reach the perfection of god in thoughts and actions.
So, we must shed the habit of being judgemental of others.