Oasis
Credit: DH Photo
Argument may be described as conversation pitched up to a heated and higher level with voice louder and mannerisms more conspicuous than contents and meaning of what is expressed. The momentum/tempo of expression are so brisk and strong that the real intent, content and meaning are driven to oblivion and harmony is buried beyond possible retrieval. The chief causes for an argument to set in are generally trivial and unrelated to the persons involved, like politics, religion, public administration, future possibilities and forgotten past incidents, most of which are beyond the scope and control of the arguers! Very often, arguments are used only to demonstrate the illusory wisdom of one over the other, ending the argument with a nasty triumphant laugh.
Arguing, unless focussed objectively on a topic and away from personal attributes, serves no purpose other than triggering the dormant ego and disturbing the peace of mind for a long time followed by severance of harmonious relationships. There is no winner in any argument; the so-called winner is the loser and the loser is the vanquished.
For putting an end to an argument and beginning a healthy conversation, the starting point is yourself! Change yourself instead of trying to change others. You have the choice to argue and spoil your and others’ moods or opt for silence and peace. You have the choice of winning an argument or retaining a valuable friendship. Choose the latter. Always remember that you do not have to get angry and pitch your voice high to make your point. Establish and maintain eye contact and bring about a sense of love and humanity while speaking. Do not interrupt. Never insult anybody. Listen more and speak less. Vacate the scene or assume stoic silence. When we engage people in conversation, it is not necessary for every exchange of words to lead to an argument, with resultant win or lose outcome. We can stop an argument and convert it into a pleasant conversation. By staying away from arguments, you may temporarily feel that you are defeated, but the permanent gain is valuable peace of mind and tranquility. Enjoy that bliss.
Benefits of staying away from arguments are abundant, including maintaining harmonious relationships, better understanding of concerns of each other, reduced stress levels, valuing each other’s feelings, expression of willingness to compromise, empathy, or ownership of the problem and focusing on issues involved.