University professors are made of varied dispositions. As college students, we had this uncanny talent to promptly identify each professor’s traits and idiosyncrasies and also quickly give them suitable sobriquets. Here I will describe five distinctive types of professors that we were blessed to learn from.
The first and most popular type was the Pompous Professor(PP). We could easily sight him from a distance. Indifferent to the vagaries of the Indian climate, eternally attired in elegant western formals we could never escape his indomitable presence. Every class of his would invariably begin with elaborate descriptions of his exploits abroad and end on the same tenor.
The second category was the Garrulous Professor (GP). Many of us understood the full meaning of the idiom ‘gift of the gab’ only after attending his classes. His ability to wax eloquence on any topic under the sun and his adept skills at relating to current affairs were unparalleled. The most potent pedagogical weapon in his armoury was the day’s newspaper always tucked under his arm. Until all its contents were shared we would not be spared.
The third in line was the ‘Omniscient Professor’ (OP). A walking library brimming with ideas and knowledge waiting to part with them at the slightest opportunity. No question was silly to him. At the end of the profound discourse we would all be tongue-tied and spellbound.
The ‘Humanitarian Professor’ (HP), the fourth type in the list was simple, kind, gentle, naïve and usually unmindful of the noise or our pranks. Very often he would turn to address the quiet ceiling and the mute trees seen through the window, obviously a ploy to shut himself to the happenings inside the classroom.
The icing on the cake, however, was the ‘Emirates Professor’ (EP). His penchant for travel and obsession for the Emirates airlines were well known. His handbag would perpetually sport the bright red tag of the airliner. One day we were misinformed that he was on leave and a delightful scream ‘Emirates professor is on leave’ was beginning to reverberate when the professor actually entered. He threw a stern glance at us and after a minute broke the silence, “Well, thank you for that title. I’m not sure if the university would confer the title of Emeritus professor on me. But you have given me one already, not exactly the same, but comes close to that. After all, the difference is only a couple of vowels.” He was smiling and all of us burst into laughter.