Recently, one of our relatives requested our presence at her residence. Her son was all set to settle down in matrimony, and she wanted us to meet the soon-to-be bride before sealing new bonds. As we stepped in, we saw the younger sibling of the bride-to-be, who seemed busy, intently working on her sleek laptop. I was a little surprised that the girl did not even look up to greet us, leave alone stand up as a sign of respect, which is customary in most Indian households. More appalling to me was that even her parents did not seem to mind their ward’s behaviour. I mulled within myself; maybe all these could have some intricate nexus with one’s own intrinsic sanskar and shistachar. While sanskar has multiple context-driven connotations, one of which is culture and manners, shistachar exclusively implies etiquette.
The same evening, I came across youngsters who painted a stark contrast to the unsavoury morning episode. As I was strolling, I stumbled upon a furniture showroom showcasing splendiferous stuff. I stepped in and looked around that magnificent showroom without any motive for procuring anything.
As I gingerly entered the shop, I was greeted by a store manager, who graciously began guiding me around the gorgeous showroom. He said he was Naren, a native of Nepal. Naren’s cheerful countenance and cordial/courteous behaviour, coupled with charming etiquette, were uplifting. Call it an induction effect; even his colleague, Arshiya, displayed the same delightful manners. And the youngsters seemed extremely genuine and emphatically not trained. As I moved around, marvelling at the artefacts, Naren cautioned me: “Ma’am, watch out for the water spillage; it is wet there and woefully slippery; the protruding part of this piece may pierce. Avoid it…” I was truly moved by the genuine care and concern, especially from a young man hailing from a modest milieu. When I complimented Naren for his impressive qualities, he instantly said that though some could be inborn, some he has imbibed from his incredibly amazing master, Riyaz Arif, the proprietor.
Finally, though I didn’t buy any of the magnificent merchandise, I brought home this meaningful gyan: The way one behaves is all reflective of one’s own innate sanskar and shistachar. And a person simply can’t get endowed with sanskar just by owning wealth and academic accolades, although education and exposure may, to an extent, play a part.”