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Credit: DH Illustration
It is common to hear people say this: “We are so close…” The close connect here could be between two friends, cousins, or colleagues. What exactly defines this closeness? Is it unconditional love without expectations, where trust is a given? Or, is it with who one has a fusillade of fun escapades? Or, is it where envy, ego, or ‘tit-for-tat’ attitude do not find a place? Or, is it when one feels safe enough to share secrets sans any misgivings?
A cousin was once saying, “I always considered a colleague as being very close. Recently, I had got embroiled in an embarrassing mess due to someone else’s folly. When a senior was wrongly taking swipe at me, this so-called friend, stood totally silent, without springing to my support. Especially when she knew I was faultless. When being a fence-sitter itself was a foul thing, she even went fawning the senior, to firmly fortify her career!”
Sadly, this is the story of many. What we seldom realise is, when we try sticking to both opposing sides without taking a stance in such situations, we’d end up being solo in life, with none to offer us succour when we are stuck with a sticky wicket! What it means in being ‘actually close’ to someone special, is best shown, not by merely declaring; but by standing up for that person, when situation demands. It is tacit that ‘closeness’ is when one tries throwing their image at stake, taking on the world itself, in testing times.
There is yet another cardinal component to ‘closeness’ concept. When close people try sharing their sob stories, instead of listening, (as if it were some soppy telly soaps, with all sadistic delight); offering solace, in the strict sense, is supremely important. Besides, taking care not to touch upon terribly sensitive areas, thereby traumatising the person further.
Now, when someone is struggling at a stage of spirit-sapping moments, what words could be more soothing? Is it when we say, “When sleazy people are having surfeit fun, why should sweet soul like you suffer and struggle?” Or, is it “Every suffering surely has a specific reason. Your painful phase too will pass. Trust me, you’d have terrific times ahead”? Well, only true closeness can tell this!