Encourage the ‘whys’, ‘whats’ and ‘hows’

Curiosity, I discovered recently, is a curious little thing. It is a quality we are all born with. Yet, over time, our curious little brains go to sleep mode — slowly but surely.

The question that becomes imperative is — how can we lose something that we are born with?

Toddlers are the most curious — they always satisfy themselves by touching, feeling and sensing others’ reactions. They take cues and learn. In her book, The Hungry Mind - The origins of curiosity in childhood, psychologist, Susan Engel, writes how children notice those little signs from adults that can restrict their curiosity. “Somehow, I knew what kinds of curiosity were OK to pursue with my grandmother, and what kinds were not,” she observes.

Conditioned minds

Parents are not the only reason for dwindling curiosity levels. When children begin their school life, they are conditioned to fetch good grades, get prizes and adhere to rules rather than explore or enjoy the learning process. The pressure to perform for grades stifles the curious mind. While some blame the education system that teaches children to conform than to ideate, some others believe that the system is not interesting or even challenging enough to sustain the curiosity of children.

While children are naturally curious, they are losing it at a remarkable speed — thanks to the digital age. According to Susan Engel, youngsters tend to explore and ask questions if they see adults do the same. In this fast-paced world, with adults spending a bulk of their time on gadgets and devices, there is simply no time to even chat with children, let alone explore for pleasure. Besides, everyone these days rely entirely on technology for solutions and answers eliminating the very need for “trying out.” Today, even a two-year-old resorts to “googling it out,” rather than asking his or her parent.

Proxy parenting

Use of video games, television or iPads can keep a toddler busy for hours but these gadgets go a long way to put the curiosity in sleep mode. Games and free play have traditionally been the cornerstone for kindling curiosity but with video games taking over free play, children are naturally tending to become less curious. These video games with their advanced graphics and sound system to hand out “real - experience” leave nothing to arouse curiosity or imagination.

Here are some ways you can nurture your children’s curiosity:

Helping children learn: A teacher once encountered a class that was in a no-learning mode. They were learning to achieve goals that are explicit and measurable. The children had just one goal — to clear school with good grades that would ensure a secure future. Their natural curiosity over time had been replaced with rote learning and exam-taking skills. Over a period of time, the teacher discovered that it is not difficult to rekindle the curiosity flame. She resorted to an old technique — the technique of asking silly questions.

“I think these ISRO scientists are stupid,” the teacher announced in the class. The entire class pricked its ears. “Why would they launch a rocket in some remote place? If only they could launch it in a stadium, wouldn’t we have gone to watch?” she said. It was enough fodder to set the entire class to think. They began to debate and discuss. They explored all possibilities and suddenly it opened up a whole new world of imagination. This incident highlights Engel’s most important observation, “Some of the most important learning happens at an implicit level, and is discovered by children on their own.”

Patience is the key: According to Susan Engel, children between three and five ask anywhere between twenty five to fifty questions per hour. However, once they begin school, they ask only two or three questions an hour. When they reach middle school, they basically stop asking questions. While answering the “why”, “why not”, and “what if”, questions can be overwhelming and frustrating, our willingness to be patient can have a direct influence on the child’s curiosity. These very life experiences will eventually have a huge impact on the way children are moulded.

Exploring together: Answering the barrage of questions, however, has its cons, because questions beg answers. It is impossible to know everything to feed the curious mind. Moms and dads all over the world become anxious over their ability to respond.

While parents may not have all the answers, they can certainly do other things. Studies have suggested that curiosity and exploration are deeply connected with parents. Parents who are positive, encouraging and curious themselves were found to have kids who are ready to explore, learn and satisfy their curiosity.

Being curious

Numerous studies on curiosity have proven that children who learn to satiate their curiosity tend to retain what they have learnt for a longer period of time. Besides, psychologists believe that there is a definitive link between intellectual curiosity and well-being. While there is certainly a dark side to curiosity that can drag people down if not nurtured and tended to in the right way, the upside to intellectual curiosity is that it is seen as a life force — the sure shot way to happiness.

Industry leaders, management gurus, innovators swear by curiosity. As the world continues to change at lightening speed, it is important to understand that we are preparing a generation for a world that doesn’t exist. And, the best way to cope with that world is to revive our innate desire to learn and fulfill our curious brains.