‘Fat, dark...’: Why body shaming children should stop

If looks are a subject of ridicule, we will end up with a generation suffering from severe mental and physical problems, say docs

Gowri Ravi Chinthalapalli

Megha Mahajan

Ayushi Kishore

Body shaming has left a lot of friends of Ayushi Kishore in tears and it must stop, says the 17-year-old. “Social media has given a free hand to people to body-shame others anonymously, without guilt. It is a major concern,” she says.

Mental health experts share their concern. Dr Gowri Ravi Chinthalapalli, a child development consultant, says if the menace of body shaming continues, we will see a generation with severe mental and physical health problems.

Dr Megha Mahajan, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, throws light on it: “Victims of body shaming are at a high risk of developing eating and mood disorders, low self-esteem, anxiety and depression and relationship problems.”

But it is becoming impossible for the young not to worry about their bodies, as they are bombarded by advertisements, lifestyle influencers, photo editing apps and social media filters, all of which set unrealistic beauty goals. Kids as young as three are conscious about their looks today, experts say.

But adolescents are fighting back and want more to join the cause. “Everyone should call out body shamers. Letting it happen is worse than committing the act,” Ayushi says.

People who body-shame others could be struggling with body image problems themselves, so it’s a vicious circle that needs to be broken, says Ayushi.

“When you accept your body positively, you are inspired to look for the good in others. But when the acceptance is negative, it leads to jealousy and insensitivity,” she explains.

Class 8 student Sathya Anshika asks, “Why judge someone for their looks when people have no control over it?” This confidence didn’t come easy to her. “For the longest time, I did not like the way my body looked. But one day, I realised I had to accept myself for who I am to be happy,” she says.

‘Boys suffer too’

Poor body image is, however, not limited to girls. “Boys suffer from it too,” says Dr Sumalatha Vasudeva, a clinical psychologist.

“Chasing the ‘perfect body’, which doesn’t really exist, can only cause disappointment in children. Body dissatisfaction is associated with poor quality of life, she observes.

On the other hand, if you feel positive and confident within, you have the power to face the world, says Gowri.

Being preoccupied with one’s body image in the early years is normal to some extent, but if the child starts to withdraw socially, it should not be ignored, Dr Megha says, advising parents to seek help.

What is body shaming?

It is an act of criticising people for their physical appearance, by calling them fat, thin, dark, short, tall. Even mocking a gait or smile amounts to body shaming.

How to treat it?

A counsellor can help, and may put you through cognitive behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, exercises and medications.

Your therapist may ask you to try the following:

*Look up successful people who made it big despite their physical flaws and disabilities.

*Focus on health rather than an ‘ideal appearance’.

*No body type is a perfect body type. Let this guide you towards body positivity.

*Confide your insecurities in people you trust.

*Ignore negative comments. Believe in your worth and let nobody tell you otherwise.

Parents, make note

According to Dr Megha Mahajan, body shaming by parents hurts children the most.

They should instead teach them to love, respect and accept their unique bodies. “Choose your words wisely. Focus on healthy eating, not dieting, and demystify the latest fads trending on social media” she gives an example. Teenager G Sathya Anshika wants parents to stop comparing their kids to the neighbours’. Dr Megha agrees:“Appreciate their strengths instead.”