Friends, foes or just a lot of fuss?

Dogs have a complex social life, just like humans, and forcing them to make friends isn’t always the best idea.

"Is your dog friendly with other dogs?” This is a question we are frequently asked when we are out walking with Pippi. There’s, unfortunately, no simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, like most answers in a dog’s world. ‘Maybe’ is more apt because Pippi is ‘dog selective’— he takes to some dogs like he has known them for life, viciously hates some, barks at the top of his voice whenever he sees them, and mostly ignores the rest. Every time we are asked that question, we try to see if we can find a pattern to Pippi’s liking and see if the dog in question fits it, so we don’t have to appear like idiots! And often, Pippi surprises us with his preference, which has evolved over the years.

When Pippi was a street dog, he came across as a loner. He was not a part of any ‘dog gang’ and probably had no family of his own in the neighbourhood. Was he relocated from elsewhere? Perhaps! His ‘people’ were indeed people — neighbourhood kids who would play with him, let him chase their bicycles and throw him a packet of glucose biscuits at the end of the evening. He thought of most other dogs in the neighbourhood as ‘foes’— mostly growling at them, and sometimes, getting into bad fights that ended up in bites. His only ‘friend’ was a shy dog who would come near our gate around 11 in the night, and whine to call Pippi when he would be in our verandah dozing off.

When we adopted Pippi, nothing changed about his equation with other dogs. At the vet’s, to our surprise, he was the good boy among the other anxious dogs, most of which were also in pain — he never barked at any! We were relieved to not have to manage a barking machine on a vet’s table! But, we were sure we did not want to ‘train’ him — yanking him to forcefully interact with other dogs or us. We wanted him to do it when he was ready if at all he wanted to. Instead, we focused on building a relationship with him, giving him the space he needed and understanding what went on with his traumatised brain. Our patience paid off.

Social and territorial

Dogs, like us, are social animals. A sizable part of their brain is wired to have social interactions with others of their own kind. Navigating social structures in a dog’s world are necessary for survival. Dogs are also territorial, making these navigations very challenging and nuanced. There are ‘friends’ and ‘foes’ to be managed, and those relationships change over time — dogs that are friends today can fight bitterly down the line, and become friends again.

With Pippi, we wondered if he would ever change his interactions with other dogs at all. To our joy, he did, and is now a different dog! His first signs were making peace with his ‘foes’ in the neighbourhood — the growls and barks slowly mellowed into friendly tail wags and play bows. When Pippi and I moved to my parents’ place for a few months before jetting off to Canada, his doggy social circle grew to about 25 street dogs in the neighbourhood!

In Toronto, the first set of dogs that he was okay with happened to be ex-street dogs, mostly from Mexico, who were now in adopted homes. They seamlessly communicated with each other with subtle body language that needed a trained eye to spot. Hopefully, someday, we’ll bring home his very own furry friend for life!

Tailspin is your monthly column on everything that’s heartwarming and annoying about pet parenting.

The writer is a science communicator and mom to Pippi, a five-year-old rescued Indie, who is behind her drive to understand dogs better. She tweets @RamanSpoorthy