Is masculinity in flux and under threat?

Devapriya Sanyal reflects on what makes a man. Are men fighting pervasive stereotypes about being aggressive, promiscuous, and unemotional or are they just plain misunderstood?

Is masculinity under threat is a pertinent and seminal question to ask in these times. Back in 2016, Bollywood had actually offered us a glimpse of it through the Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury-directed film Pink. It had Angad Bedi playing the role of Rajveer Singh, the scion of a political leader who feels entitled and who is the embodiment of toxic masculinity. The film revolves around working women who are vulnerable in a patriarchal and feudal sentiment at work in society. This is oblivious to the fact that women do have the right to say no to men even though they have free conversations and dealings with them. What is interesting is that although Rajveer is attracted to the emancipated woman Minal, he feels threatened by her too. And that is the case with most Indian men today who desire a hot woman but want to take home a woman who is modest and docile. In such cases, the men evoke the idea of the ideal mother and sister models in their heads and this was critiqued in this film as well.

A seething resentment against women’s “invasion” of “their space” now rages amongst many men. From the boardroom, and operating theatre to military operations, women’s entry has provoked an angry backlash from some men. These were once the usual arenas in which it was easy to prove one’s manhood where women were at most secretarial playthings. Things were much easier for men when women “knew their place”, which was usually at home or in menial jobs. These are changes not of their making but these have made men increasingly anxious in an economic and political arena that erodes their ability to be breadwinners (sometimes). They are now confused by new demands about emotional responsiveness and involved fatherhood making them uncomfortable in their new environs.

Familiar phrases such as “men don’t cry” and “women are not emotional” have been propagated in our society — both in the West and in India for eons. It is a given that men are stronger, and have dominating personalities and if they appear as the weak or emotional one, it will be deemed ‘less’ of a man (if there could be such a thing).

Toxic masculinity is one fallout of the above thought which has been normalised because men do not speak up and this does not merely end with sexism and patriarchy. The other ramifications include casteism, racism, and religious prejudices as well. This has become so much a part of our culture that when a man in the real world breaks the stereotype or if this phenomenon finds a representation in the media, it is eulogised and overhyped.

Much like Women’s Studies, there are Masculinity Studies as well in which men have come to be studied. Unlike feminism which came into existence in the 18th century, Masculinity Studies is a more recent phenomenon. Whereas religion and other traditional studies have always maintained that men are the providers and are superior to women, this notion has come under threat with more and more women stepping out of the house to not only provide for their families but also to leave a mark in their chosen fields. A couple of years ago, Maryam Mirzakhani, an Iranian, who was working in the American academia, was awarded the Fields Medal in the field of mathematics which was otherwise a male bastion. There has been a recent spurt of women politicians too who have risen to become the heads of states. Even Malala Yousufzai from Pakistan won the prestigious Nobel Prize for Peace. To put it more plainly, these were women who were trying to make a change in the way the world was governed and managed.

Feeling outcompeted

The fact is that violence, sometimes mental, mostly sexual, happens because men feel outcompeted by women. The 2012 Nirbhaya incident is a case in point or even the Khap Panchayat rulings in which women are killed in certain parts of north India because women no longer want to live within the constricts that society in the guise of men have confined them to.

The crisis in masculinity has resulted because of the changes that are happening. There are more and more women workers in all sectors and not just in traditional jobs. The realisation that they are no less able than their male counterparts (and sometimes even better) has boosted women’s confidence as they strive to make a difference to others of their kind. And then there are ideas of a new world in which some men do not want to live in and which can be measured as their failure. Interestingly, within the masculine community, there have emerged two visions of masculinity: one of the strong man or the alpha man who used to be known as the patriarch and the other more sensitive, compassionate and introspective new man. However, unlike women, men have constantly to keep up with the labels that come into vogue just as in the fashion industry and which puts them under tremendous pressure.

The expectations...

The “Man Box” refers to a rigid set of expectations, perceptions and behaviours that are considered “manly” imposed on men by the society. Gender-based types of aggression and violence are central to producing dominant heterosexual masculinities and making these behaviours acceptable. Adherence to the man box is one of the principal causes of violence against women. What is extremely important is the need to challenge manhood and male socialisation. This includes keeping an open mind about understanding the many aspects of being a man which can be reconsidered, challenged and redefined. This in turn will lead to the creation of a world in which women are valued and safe and men themselves encounter a different version of themselves.

(The writer is an author, teacher, and a cinephile.)