Let help in!

In keeping with the 'new normal' we are wading through, the onus is on each one of us to figure out ways to look after ourselves.

Getting a hang of the ‘new normal’ as you stay cooped up indoors? How about using this unexpected time on your hands to tick off an important point off your self-care bucket list — your mental wellbeing?

The New Age India is therapy ready. And mental health therapy is saving more lives than ever before. Young Indians are sitting up and taking note of how crucial it is to seek professional help — if and when the need arises.

While not everyone would unanimously agree that seeing a therapist is the most comfortable choice, what needs to be noted is that seeking professional help is one of the kindest things to do to yourself in the face of crippling anxiety, gnawing mood swings, or worse, depression.

From documenting personal battles with trauma to describing healing in their own terms, Gen Now and working adults aren’t shying away from expressing their mental state of being and how speaking it out to a professional changed the narrative of their story.

Sunday Herald gets chatty with a few enterprising millennials who are vocal about how seeing a therapist has changed their lives for the better.

Best decision ever

“I’ve been seeing a therapist since 2016 and it was the best decision I ever made. I had just finished drama school and would wake up every morning feeling empty and alone. No matter what I did, the feeling never went,” begins Sidartha Vijay Mallya, actor and entrepreneur, who’s currently working on a YouTube series, conSIDerThis. “It was at that point that I decided to seek professional help and I was prescribed anti-depressants, which I took for three months,” he adds.

Mustering up the courage to come to terms with the fact that you might need to reach out for help is one of the hardest things to do ever. However, youngsters believe that it’s one of the wisest investments you can make for yourself.

“I began seeing a therapist in the beginning of 2019 to help me channel my anxiety and work with me on my anger and partial depression. Also, I caught myself acting out of character in many situations and during times of arguments and that’s when I realised I needed help. Youngsters today endure a lot of stress at various levels — be it work or personal relationships — and are really bogged down by a lot of mental trauma. Instead of bottling it up within you, go seek help and meet a therapist. These sessions are usually very casual yet professional and are kept completely confidential,” advises Ayushi Guha Singh, a communications specialist. “Telling your circle or family about it is a step I feel an individual can take when he/she is comfortable. While the therapist is NOT your friend, therapy has definitely made me a lot stronger in the way I think, make decisions and the way I act.”

Stigma persists

For Neha Fernandez, a content specialist, the wake-up call came in the form of self-awareness: “I was letting my mind affect me, more than I like. I knew seeking professional help was the only way I could get back to being what I truly was,” she says, adding, “therapy is just guiding you through a rough time in your life. It helps you equip yourself with the mindset and skillsets to overcome your problems. It changes your perception and lets you take the relevant decisions that will make your life better. I believe young individuals seeking therapy should expect a place of calm and safety when you confide. I would define myself as a new, improved and better person than what I was before.”

While self-reflection is what drives many to seek therapy, Dhiren Raghu, an IT professional, believes the awareness to seek professional help came through campaigns at his workplace.

“I was suffering from depression; it felt like it was something that I wasn’t able to get through on my own and the opportunity presented itself when my company was doing campaigns about it and spreading mental health awareness,” he reminisces, while taking us through his journey.

Addressing the stigma that continues to persist, Dhiren suggests youngsters to take that step irrespective of how awkward it initially feels. “I had my apprehensions initially and I understand, this might be taboo or hard as our parents don’t really understand it but this really is a step in the right direction to improve ourselves. And while a therapist helps, I feel results begin to show only with self-awareness, hard work and the commitment to better yourself.”

Rejig perspectives

If you’re confused about whether to seek help or not because you’re not under a cloud of gloom, it’s time to rethink your perspective.

Anindita Kannan, a communications professional, believes therapy is for those who believe in staying true to themselves and addressing emotions of all kinds — even those that you don’t understand. Urging people to make that start, she says, “I could not completely understand what I was going through and this impacted my personal interactions at home. I was lying to myself that I was alright and kept a constant smile and did not speak to anyone about how I was feeling. One day, I had a major breakdown and realised that I had caused a lot of emotional harm to people around me. That is when I decided to take the assistance of a professional who could help me align my thoughts and find the root cause of my issues.”

Enthusing about her experiences, Anindita adds, “when I started visiting the therapist and she hand-held me through my thoughts, I realised that as much as I thought I knew myself, there was a lot that I was discovering. Visiting a therapist does not mean that you are wrong or are not good enough. It is a way of elevating yourself to achieve a better version of yourself. Almost like going to a nutritionist for your physical wellbeing. Simply put, it’s seeking unprejudiced advice from an expert.”

There's no shame in therapy'

"Don’t be shy, don’t feel bad and don’t feel embarrassed by it. I know there is still a little bit of a stigma surrounding therapy and certain people still see it as a 'weakness', but the truth is, admitting you need to talk to someone is the biggest show of strength there is. At the end of the day, if you are feeling ill, you would consult a doctor. If you had toothache, you would see a dentist. Therefore, if you are not feeling at total ease in your mind, why then shouldn’t you see a therapist?! We spend so much time looking after our physical health by going to the gym, going on diets, etc., so why shouldn’t we look after our mental health too?

(By Sid Mallya, entrepreneur)

Inhale, exhale

Since you will be spending a lot of time at home, find ways to keep your mind active. Use this time well to do productive work or catch up on pending work. If you start feeling stress or anxiety, find an outlet by speaking to a loved one or connect with a friend. In case you feel the need, get in touch with a mental health professional for help on dealing with stress or
anxiety. Feelings of boredom often lead to over-sleeping or over-eating; however, try to avoid these habits as they will end up making you feel worse. Eating healthy and exercising will help you maintain a feeling of wellness. Practice meditation to improve your breathing and bring an overall sense of calm. Use this time creatively, for example, by experimenting with cooking, crafts, online courses, exercises, etc., to avoid feelings of monotony.

(By Dr Neeraj Raj B, consultant psychiatrist, Aster RV Hospital)

Mind over matter

Here are some foolproof ways for better mental wellness:

* Have someone to speak to: Most important and critical is to have a person in your life, apart from your friends and family, with whom you can speak regularly with. Often, small things end up becoming big reasons for mental illness.

* Control what thoughts you give power to: Human beings are emotional creatures. Everything starts with a thought, which converts to feelings and in turn converts to action. We cannot control what thoughts enter our mind, but we can control what thoughts we give our power to and cling on to.

* Physical health = Mental health: If you are physically active and healthy, you are always in a better shape mentally. Exercise releases feel-good chemicals in your brain, which help maintain equilibrium.

* Burn your emotions: Every morning as soon as you wake up, take a piece of paper and write whatever that comes to your mind for 15 minutes -- just write, don’t censor, judge, check spelling -- just vomit your heart and mind on the paper and then burn it. With this practice, you will gradually heal yourself.

* Gratitude and forgiveness: We are emotional beings; getting hurt and feeling lonely is natural. However, a daily practice of being grateful for the small and big things in your life and forgiving everyone who has hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, will help you be happier and optimistic.

* Eat brain-friendly foods: Include foods that are healthy for the brain in your daily diet, such as walnuts, fish, beans, yoghurt, greens, etc.

* Build mental toughness: Mental and emotional toughness is a skill, which can be improved upon every single day. Do what you feel is hard for you, every single day. This could be waking up early or speaking in public -- the more you keep doing stuff that you find tough, the tougher you will become mentally.

(By Shashi Kalyanpur, Wellness Consultant)