Oops, your gender-wear is showing!

Underwear, often called unmentionables, are now out of the closet, more sporty, strappy and bro-friendly, writes Indu Balachandran

We should admire Superman for being so daring — wearing his underwear as overwear, on top of his blue tights. And also Madonna, for boldly dancing on stage in her shimmering cone-cup metallic bra. Generally speaking, underwear — often called unmentionables, remained a closed subject for centuries, ever since the world’s first couple decided to get modest and cover up their fig leaves with outer clothing.

Revealing study

I’d like to share the results of an important, extensive research project I completed in roughly about one day, to help us all understand undergarments better, and here’s what my study revealed — including bra straps on the shoulders of girls, and elastic bands over low jeans on guys.

The bra’s best definition is probably ‘over the shoulder, boulder holder’. And men’s underpants are aptly described as ‘under the butt nut hut’. The earliest known bras, I discovered, were made with organic natural plant material yet weren’t at all designed for comfort. As evidenced from this old jungle saying I stumbled on: Some coconuts go on to become Pina Coladas. Some go on to become bras. Ask any modern woman of today about this breast-cage that imprisons women, and they are likely to assume the bra was an invention by men — as one more way to suppress women. But in actual fact, it was Herminie Cadolle of France, in 1889, whose patience in getting into a corset snapped, so she snipped it away in half — creating a smaller upper garment. And faster than you can say abracadabra, the Brassiere became a worldwide hit.

The suffocating corset as inner apparel eventually died, thanks to World War I. In 1917, a metal shortage to make guns led to a ban on using up precious metal wires in making corsets. Soon after, a brief period of ‘bandeaus’ or chest bands got popular, which were flattening rather than flattering to women — as the skinny androgynous look was the popular style in the roaring 20’s. But then Maidenform decided it was pointless being a woman if you didn’t flaunt it, and became the first to master the ABC of different bosom sizes, though their conical shapes seem rather comical to us now. However, it was the genius of a man — Frederick Mellinger in 1947 — who decided to push up bra sales by inventing the world’s first push up bra. The wires came back at the base of bras to squeeze, push, and enhance cleavage and a brand Wonderbra became a rage worldwide.

The bra makes strides

In the 1978 Olympics, a lot of women’s athletics records were broken — but no one knows the real reason except me: it was all due to the sports bra just invented in 1977. Freed from the shackles of hooks and straps, women jumped higher or hit the tape seconds earlier than previous years in several events.

Meanwhile back in the men’s store… it was discovered that, worldwide, men’s briefs were largely bought by women, which is perfectly logical as women often decide if they prefer seeing their guy wandering about the house in boxer shorts or tighty whiteys. However, any man buying women’s lingerie started getting viewed with suspicion as a crossdresser… even on Valentine’s Day.

Moving on to further findings — ie., women’s underpants and men’s bras. Yes, men’s bras. A firm no-nonsense upper garment for well-endowed men — let’s politely call it ‘bro’ rather than bra — is probably worn secretly by some joggers even in your local park. But women’s underpants come in such a range of choices, as you can see from any clothesline around the world — from boring granny panties to barely-there thongs.

Fortunately, Priyanka Chopra wore something in between these two extremes with her black see-through lace pantsuit in a recent TV appearance with Seth Myers. Her chaddi-buddies back home in Bareilly would’ve cheered for sure.

While bachelors are often tormented with this question: should I do laundry today, or just go buy new underwear, girls everywhere look after their underthings better… even as they are thankful to these pandemic times for temporarily killing the bra.

Freed from putting up a front in offices, women around the world have welcomed the unrestricted freedom of working from home in their braless, baggy T-shirt state — and are now dreading the return to normal office dressing.

My studies further show that leading designers of new-age underwear continue to seek that tough balance of fashion combined with comfort. And style combined with sustainability. Like the environmentally ethical, organically practical, morally inclusive, responsibly recyclable new-age bra I saw advertised recently. It’s wireless, but then you may need a password to get into it!

(HeSaid/SheSaid is a monthly column on gender issues— funny side up. The author switched to a career in Advertising/Travel Writing as world markets may have collapsed if she ever became an economist. Reach her at [e-mail])