<p>Single mothers in Bengaluru face insensitive questions when they seek accommodation and are often forced to deal with nosy acquaintances.</p>.<p>Yet, many say, it is not a bad city for those living independent lives. </p>.<p>Kanika S, communications professional, has a five-year-old daughter Spoorthika. For her, finding a house has always been a challenge.</p>.<p>“We stayed earlier in Jayanagar and the owners were very cooperative. But after we moved from there, because of my job, I’ve had to move four times,” she says.</p>.<p>Whenever she raises concerns over a broken window grill or something that calls for replacement, the landlords judge her on her marital status and describe her as ‘demanding.’</p>.<p>Her child’s kindergarten admission wasn’t easy either.</p>.<p>“I had to move him from one school to another as the teachers there would advise him to coax me to bring my former partner to school,” she says.</p>.<p>She has found a group online that helps support single parents in the city. “Things are slowly getting better,” she adds. </p>.<p>Time is a constraint for single parents, observes Kakoli Das, manager (merchandise planning and allocation), and mother to three children, Reet, Rish and Ridhaan. She’s been a single parent for two years.</p>.<p>“I am lucky to have a good support system and live-in help. But lack of time is the biggest problem. Sometimes I have to be at different places at the same time. If a child is sick, things can be quite challenging,” she says.</p>.<p>Hailing from Guwahati, Kakoli feels Bengaluru has been kind to her. “I have a good circle of friends who have supported me through the journey, be it sending food home and offering a place to stay for the kids when I need to be away. I’ve never felt like a fish out of water,” she says.</p>.<p>The challenges are many at the workplace. “Flexibility at work and policies inclusive of single parents are the need of the hour,” she says.</p>.<p>Official documentation can be a pain for single mothers. “A little more sensitivity in government procedures would help. Many forms are still archaic,” says Kakoli.</p>.<p>Saritha Suman (name changed on request), a consultant, is separated from her partner, and has been a single parent for three years.</p>.<p>“The biggest challenge I’ve faced is when my son is told that he doesn’t have a normal family. Though he has grandparents (my parents) to take care of him, he is forever told how he is missing out on things in life,” she says.</p>.<p>The discussions take place at family events and birthday parties. “That is why I avoid attending them,” she says.</p>.<p>Sita K M, programme manager with an MNC, has been a single parent for 17 years. “My daughter Pratheksha came to the city seven years ago. My biggest worry was whether I could continue staying in the paying guest accommodation. Thankfully the owners were fine with it,” she says.</p>.<p>She says the city’s ‘free culture’ helped her move on in life. “Some eyebrows were raised, but slowly everyone went back to their own business,” she says.</p>.<p>Many workplaces and clients assume single mothers are difficult to work with.</p>.<p>Sharanya Iyer, architect, has been a single parent to eight-year-old Ikshvah.</p>.<p>“I am lucky to have support from family and friends and the neighbourhood. But it’s a different story with clients who assume I am headstrong and stubborn. When clients get to know that I’m single, they assume things,” she says.</p>.<p>At times, she has to push for work to get done at a site, when workers are slacking off.</p>.<p>“When people come to know about my status, they pass comments,” she says.</p>.<p>Sharanya also finds people taking undue liberties when it comes to casual conversations.</p>.<p>“They are curious and think discussing things with you is okay. When one tries to draw a line or limit conversations, they judge you as being rude,” she observes.</p>.<p>All said and done, Bengaluru is more open to people with different identities, she adds, and things have been easier with every passing year.<br /><br /><strong>Challenges</strong></p>.<p>Prejudiced house owners<br />Nosy acquaintances<br />Gender-insensitive forms<br />School admissions<br />PTA meetings<br />Workplace assumptions</p>
<p>Single mothers in Bengaluru face insensitive questions when they seek accommodation and are often forced to deal with nosy acquaintances.</p>.<p>Yet, many say, it is not a bad city for those living independent lives. </p>.<p>Kanika S, communications professional, has a five-year-old daughter Spoorthika. For her, finding a house has always been a challenge.</p>.<p>“We stayed earlier in Jayanagar and the owners were very cooperative. But after we moved from there, because of my job, I’ve had to move four times,” she says.</p>.<p>Whenever she raises concerns over a broken window grill or something that calls for replacement, the landlords judge her on her marital status and describe her as ‘demanding.’</p>.<p>Her child’s kindergarten admission wasn’t easy either.</p>.<p>“I had to move him from one school to another as the teachers there would advise him to coax me to bring my former partner to school,” she says.</p>.<p>She has found a group online that helps support single parents in the city. “Things are slowly getting better,” she adds. </p>.<p>Time is a constraint for single parents, observes Kakoli Das, manager (merchandise planning and allocation), and mother to three children, Reet, Rish and Ridhaan. She’s been a single parent for two years.</p>.<p>“I am lucky to have a good support system and live-in help. But lack of time is the biggest problem. Sometimes I have to be at different places at the same time. If a child is sick, things can be quite challenging,” she says.</p>.<p>Hailing from Guwahati, Kakoli feels Bengaluru has been kind to her. “I have a good circle of friends who have supported me through the journey, be it sending food home and offering a place to stay for the kids when I need to be away. I’ve never felt like a fish out of water,” she says.</p>.<p>The challenges are many at the workplace. “Flexibility at work and policies inclusive of single parents are the need of the hour,” she says.</p>.<p>Official documentation can be a pain for single mothers. “A little more sensitivity in government procedures would help. Many forms are still archaic,” says Kakoli.</p>.<p>Saritha Suman (name changed on request), a consultant, is separated from her partner, and has been a single parent for three years.</p>.<p>“The biggest challenge I’ve faced is when my son is told that he doesn’t have a normal family. Though he has grandparents (my parents) to take care of him, he is forever told how he is missing out on things in life,” she says.</p>.<p>The discussions take place at family events and birthday parties. “That is why I avoid attending them,” she says.</p>.<p>Sita K M, programme manager with an MNC, has been a single parent for 17 years. “My daughter Pratheksha came to the city seven years ago. My biggest worry was whether I could continue staying in the paying guest accommodation. Thankfully the owners were fine with it,” she says.</p>.<p>She says the city’s ‘free culture’ helped her move on in life. “Some eyebrows were raised, but slowly everyone went back to their own business,” she says.</p>.<p>Many workplaces and clients assume single mothers are difficult to work with.</p>.<p>Sharanya Iyer, architect, has been a single parent to eight-year-old Ikshvah.</p>.<p>“I am lucky to have support from family and friends and the neighbourhood. But it’s a different story with clients who assume I am headstrong and stubborn. When clients get to know that I’m single, they assume things,” she says.</p>.<p>At times, she has to push for work to get done at a site, when workers are slacking off.</p>.<p>“When people come to know about my status, they pass comments,” she says.</p>.<p>Sharanya also finds people taking undue liberties when it comes to casual conversations.</p>.<p>“They are curious and think discussing things with you is okay. When one tries to draw a line or limit conversations, they judge you as being rude,” she observes.</p>.<p>All said and done, Bengaluru is more open to people with different identities, she adds, and things have been easier with every passing year.<br /><br /><strong>Challenges</strong></p>.<p>Prejudiced house owners<br />Nosy acquaintances<br />Gender-insensitive forms<br />School admissions<br />PTA meetings<br />Workplace assumptions</p>