Proposed law against ‘love jihad’leaves interfaith couples jittery

Those trying to cross religious barriers fear it may legitimise all the prejudices they already face

Multiple states in the country are planning laws against ‘love jihad,’ and couples in interfaith relationships say it adds to the anxiety of being in such a relationship.

In Karnataka, Home Minister Basavaraj Bommai and Chief Minister B S Yeddyurappa have promised “stern measures” against it.

Sohail (name changed), who has been with his Hindu girlfriend for almost two years, says the political agenda is clear. “If I consider just the two of us, religious and cultural differences have never mattered. But when others come into the picture, religion does matter. It’s hard to plan for the future and commit knowing there are so many obstacles.”

Some in their families don’t approve of the relationship no matter how educated they are. “In the end it comes to picking sides, either relationship or family,” he says.

Amana Syed was a Hindu who married Amer 28 years ago and chose to convert. “To me it was important to join my husband and his religion was a key factor,” she says. It wasn’t an easy choice but she says love calls for such struggles.

Amer says in a country as diverse as India, you cannot fall in love by asking what religion or caste the other person belongs to. “Love cannot be premeditated,” he says.

Athira Sujatha Radhakrishnan got married to longtime partner Shameem P earlier this year. She says she is against forced conversions.

“This made-up concept targets only Muslim men and demonises them. It’s an Islamophobic concept that seeks to control who people fall in love with,” she says.

Athira did not convert; she married under the Special Marriages Act. “Even then I was targeted online by right-wing trolls who threatened to go to my parents. This makes me believe it is more a patriarchal issue of ‘protecting our Hindu sisters’ than a religious one,” she says.

Talk about the new law makes her nervous. “I don’t want to be in a situation where I have to roam around with my marriage certificate,” she says. She believes couples who are yet to marry and those less privileged than her will be jittery because of the law.

Riya, a Hindu who has been with her Muslim boyfriend for a little over a year, feels this is another hurdle on an already difficult path. “There is already so much societal pressure that makes an interfaith relationships difficult. Having it all legitimised in a law scares me,” she says.

She says friends have also cautioned her against the relationship, saying it will end badly. She has already looked into the Special Marriages Act. “I do hope everyone in the family comes around, but I’m mentally prepared to be shunned for a time,” she concludes.

‘In every religion’

Athira Sujatha Radhakrishna says that if her husband, Shameem, had chosen to convert to Hinduism, Muslim extremists would be up in arms. “The important distinction to make is that senseless anger and bigotry from a minority is not the same as that from a majority,” she says.

India Love Project

India Love Project is an Instagram page that carries stories of couples who surmount hurdles of religion, caste and more. Samar Halarnkar, co-founder, says ‘love jihad’ is a fake narrative. “The government in parliament had said it was not an official term and that it was not aware of any such cases,” he says. Most couples who share their stories have spoken about familial hostility. “We do get the usual incoherent anger, focused on the allegation that inter-faith is an excuse for Muslim men to marry Hindu women,” he says.

What is love jihad?

It is a term used by right-wing Hindu groups to describe marriage between Hindu women and Muslim men. They claim this is a ploy to convert the woman to Islam by feigning love.