<p>There’s this story about a man waving his hands around at a busy intersection. He did this every day. A traffic policeman went up to him to inquire as to what he was doing. He replied that he was keeping the tigers away. The policeman said, “But there are no tigers here.” The man replied, “Well, I must be doing a good job!”</p>.<p>We live in a world where many people have similar delusions, believing that they are the reason the earth spins on its axis; where they have a huge sense of self-importance; where they gesticulate their hands and believe they have chased away the tigers. Their self-obsession results in them not knowing their shortcomings.</p>.<p>They become insufferable. It also means that they never learn to listen to others and miss a whole wonderful world beyond themselves. It means that they can never improve. </p>.<p>A self-obsessed person tends to take advantage of others. He does so without realising he is doing so.</p>.<p>They tend to be so occupied with themselves that they are invariably selfish. They are concerned about their image; their self-obsession leads them to become narcissists. They obviously cannot care very much for others. They lack empathy.</p>.<p>What this means is that they cannot have any close relationships.</p>.<p>They end up being lonely, for who really would like to befriend a bore who thinks the world starts and ends with himself. What a tragedy, because it is friends who give meaning to life.</p>.<p>Which brings us to the question, are you big enough to hear the mirror say, “No, you are not the fairest of them all? Are you big enough to smell the coffee and realise that people merely tolerate you?</p>.<p>To accept reality. As Iris Murdoch says, the great task in life is to find reality. And it has been said that finding reality is a life-long process that starts with the acceptance of truth. Truth about self. ’To thine own self be true’ says the Bard.</p>.<p>And we can change ourselves only when we stop deceiving ourselves. When that happens, we look around and realise that there is a world beyond ourselves. We would then discover friendships and relationships. And that is the day when we can become better people.</p>
<p>There’s this story about a man waving his hands around at a busy intersection. He did this every day. A traffic policeman went up to him to inquire as to what he was doing. He replied that he was keeping the tigers away. The policeman said, “But there are no tigers here.” The man replied, “Well, I must be doing a good job!”</p>.<p>We live in a world where many people have similar delusions, believing that they are the reason the earth spins on its axis; where they have a huge sense of self-importance; where they gesticulate their hands and believe they have chased away the tigers. Their self-obsession results in them not knowing their shortcomings.</p>.<p>They become insufferable. It also means that they never learn to listen to others and miss a whole wonderful world beyond themselves. It means that they can never improve. </p>.<p>A self-obsessed person tends to take advantage of others. He does so without realising he is doing so.</p>.<p>They tend to be so occupied with themselves that they are invariably selfish. They are concerned about their image; their self-obsession leads them to become narcissists. They obviously cannot care very much for others. They lack empathy.</p>.<p>What this means is that they cannot have any close relationships.</p>.<p>They end up being lonely, for who really would like to befriend a bore who thinks the world starts and ends with himself. What a tragedy, because it is friends who give meaning to life.</p>.<p>Which brings us to the question, are you big enough to hear the mirror say, “No, you are not the fairest of them all? Are you big enough to smell the coffee and realise that people merely tolerate you?</p>.<p>To accept reality. As Iris Murdoch says, the great task in life is to find reality. And it has been said that finding reality is a life-long process that starts with the acceptance of truth. Truth about self. ’To thine own self be true’ says the Bard.</p>.<p>And we can change ourselves only when we stop deceiving ourselves. When that happens, we look around and realise that there is a world beyond ourselves. We would then discover friendships and relationships. And that is the day when we can become better people.</p>