Develop detached relationships

Relationship refers to the manner in which two or more living beings or things are connected and/or behave and, in particular and common parlance, the state of being connected by blood/marriage and friends who have transactional relationships to start with. Most of such relationships come into place driven by common interests and expectations of mutual benefits presently or in the future.

However strong such relationships grow into, they are all bound to break up owing to various inherent causes like lapse of time, adverse circumstances, misunderstandings and consequential disappointments due to lack of mutual benefits. For a poetic/musical expression of this aspect, just recall and hum one of the meaningful and soulful song from the old Hindi film Kaagaz Ke Phool, “arey dekhii zamaane kii yaarii, bichhade sabhii, bichhade sabhii, baarii baarii,” meaning I have seen friendships in this world where everyone severed the friendship turn by burn.

Sharing feelings sincerely with one another is undoubtedly an essential sign of a good relationship. Sincere and strong relationships lend meaning to an otherwise meaningless life. However, strengthening relationships does not have to be by sharing sensitive personal secrets. No matter how strong our relationship presently may be, we sooner or later fall out of such relationships. Therefore, always beware of possible cracks in relationships in the future and take care that you are not being exploited because of your having leaked personal information and weaknesses which you had shared while the relationship was going great. It is always prudent to maintain relationships discreet and detached, bearing in mind the related bonds and boundaries.

Creating and sustaining healthy, long relationships is a mutual responsibility and if not, it is a warning sign to examine whether there exists any relationship worth saving at all.

The logical justification why we should aim for developing detached relationships is that all relationships are essentially illusory, come to an end either abruptly or gradually and retards our spiritual growth. However, one notable exception is our relationship with God. Develop an emotional bond with Him and think of Him at all times by recognising and keeping in mind the spiritual reality of every living being’s relationship with God, which is unique. Such a relationship will safeguard us from all hazards and uncertainties of life and navigate us through this arduous sea of samsara.