‘Golden Age’ of the mapillai

A ring is almost always identified with a mappillai— a son-in-law during thalai Deepavali. The ring should be made of solid gold; diamonds are welcome additions, thank you! Decades ago, on the first Deepavali after the wedding, the newly married young man used to be invited to the bride’s family and presented with a valuable ring among other gifts. If this tradition was not followed, it would sour the air of celebration. In fact, it might even turn the event stormy!

The selection of the gold metal for the ring was made with considerable wisdom. Of all metals, gold never acts out of character even if melted at a high temperature and mercilessly pummeled. It will not change its quality no matter what. Ergo, a father-in-law would hope that the sterling character of the metal of the ring would rub off on the character of mappillai. Deplorably, more often than not, it did not!

New dresses bought for Deepavali cannot be worn and flaunted forever, as they have to be laundered. This did not apply to a ring. In those days, a ring was not the solitary Deepavali gift. It was presented in addition to a wristwatch. Invariably, it would be an HMT beauty, a proud possession in those days, crafted indigenously then in Bangalore. The ring-and-watch combo on the newly married young man’s left hand would be deemed a metaphoric harbinger of a ‘golden time’.

Post-Deepavali, visitors would curiously enquire what their family’s newly-wed was presented with by his in-laws. The young man had to exhibit his left ring finger patiently for the appraisal of self-appointed critics, who would make sure that it matched the young man’s professional standing and family’s prosperity. This was akin to furnishing the left index finger for verification to prove with the mark of the indelible ink that he had already exercised his franchise during an ongoing election.

Not all visitors were overly inquisitive or nosy parkers. I know of one family, where the young man’s imperious mother had returned with her son and daughter-in-law after a gala thalai Deepavali bash from Kumbakonam. She was sure that the flashy diamond ring presented by her sambandhis to her son would go unnoticed during a wedding bash in their family scheduled for the next evening. The devious lady compelled her son to stick his left index finger into a big lemon, making it seem like he had whitlow— an abscess that affects the soft tissue near the fingernails. As anticipated, nobody failed to notice the lemon on his left finger, it stood out like a sore thumb, and so by default, the diamond ring caught the eye of attendees of the wedding, eliciting several ‘oos ‘ and ‘ahs’. As a double bill, she coughed gently but effectively at well-orchestrated intervals, drawing attention to a new necklace for which her husband had coughed up a princely sum!