Needed: A new mental model of school — relationships, not hours

Covid cost our children 800 days in school. What matters for their recovery is our mental model. The book Framers by Cukier, Mayer-Schonberger and Vericourt, suggests that humans think in mental models because these representations of reality allow us to see patterns, make sense of our circumstances, and think about the future. But successful mental models need thinking about causality, counterfactuals, and constraints. A mental model that replaces this difficult work with certainty is not only inefficient but dangerous; schools and children normalising are not about just hours of learning; I believe we must put relationships -- with acceptance, trust and support -- at the heart of rebuilding a new mental model for our children’s wellbeing.

In India, Covid’s reported learning loss of 50% may be underestimated, given textbook sales for many state boards fell by 75-80%. Covid’s social challenges far outweigh learning losses by creating new hidey holes for self-image, alternate pathways to redefine relationships, and deluding children into a false sense of security in the digital world.

One teenager told me she can be anyone she wants to be online while another suggested that meeting an online friend of an online friend is not just easier but also safer than meeting the physical friend of a physical friend. A pre-teen is terrified of social expectations in school, while an elementary schoolchild is ‘bored’ and prefers the playground to be replaced by device time. In a group sitting together at the break, hands reach out nervously for phantom phones and eyes look around awkwardly, avoiding contact. Why struggle with physical relationships when they can be masters of the world available at their fingertips?

These cases are not the traditional fault lines of looks, popularity, ability or age; they are commonplace redefinitions of the meaning and need for acceptance and trust with peers, teachers and parents. Misanthropic loner-ism is a constraint for loving, laughing, and learning; relationships may be tough to form but are the roots of intrinsic motivation.

A legal battle in California fighting for action against social media companies for children’s digital addiction feels like something to support. But progress must have the right of way and children must learn to harness technology without being enslaved by it. Solo navigation of the physical world is difficult with two years online, and children need our support.

Parents must look out for children’s mental models; surface and build values, listen, reason and evolve, not ban, direct or control. Children need to persevere while knowing they are loved unconditionally. Teachers must build routines that push for voice, choice and interaction in school; more sports, more playtime, more creative arts, more reading and exploration, more personalised projects, more shared learning experiences, more debates and discussions calling for building and surfacing perspectives.

Children also need more reflection on the self, on others, and on the world; growing up in a complex, interconnected world needs the development of ethical judgement, bringing in philosophy, not in a didactic ‘Plato to NATO’ way, but through questioning justice and equity of knowledge, motivation, and relationships in school and beyond. We need to help children engage fully with people, instead of surfing the world or watching it whiz by. Enabling children to do different things, with different people at different times, needs serious skill-building in our teachers, parents accepting that kids are not ‘mini-me’, and reimagining time-spend.

Learning in the 21st century is obsessed with measurable outcomes and learning hours. There are many definitions of success, and everyone will succeed. Acceptance frees us, trust is built on shared values, and support must always be available. Educator and Social Psychologist Dr Helen Street says in Contextual Wellbeing, “Grounding schools in equity, belonging and inclusion is about kids who feel alive; wellbeing is about connections. Children become resilient when they feel connected to family, to their classroom, to school, and they have a strong sense of their place in the world.”

The Human Flourishing Programme at Harvard identifies the relational connection, on a bedrock of health, happiness, purpose and virtue as fundamental. There are many routes. Experts across the developed world have never invested so much time, money, or energy into supporting the mental health and wellbeing of young people, even before the pandemic. NEP 2020 also wonderfully identifies connection as the key to lifelong learning. Children need to connect, to trust other children, and also their adults, knowing they are accepted and supported. They need to connect their learning with the world around them and with themselves, finding purpose and building character. Teachers and parents now need to get down to basics and do all this with kindness, not telling children to just fit in somehow. Intolerance, bullying, loneliness, and digital addiction are the opposite of all this and cannot be suffered.

How can we trust and support children to bring out their best selves? How can we shape their view of relationships to be at the core of their learning, lives, and legacy? How can we build communities that truly practise collaboration and connection? How can our country achieve learning that succeeds for all kids, and not just end up returning to the status quo of pre-Covid learning poverty? I know we can. But change starts with embracing a new mental model of school.

(The writer is Head of School, Neev Academy)