No country for women

Sans the Sacred

The RG Kar rape-and-murder case is horrifying. And the aftermath -- the government’s apathy, the complete lack of institutional training regarding communicating difficult news to the family of the victim, and the tendency to use these incidents as political mileage -- we should be used to them by now, but they still leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

The responses, though familiar, are infuriating. “Not all men…” “What about…”, and possibly the worst— “Let’s not judge the country by these incidents…”

We should absolutely judge a country by how its women are treated. And it is not as if this is an isolated incident -- we hear of heinous crimes against women on a daily basis, and sex determination in pregnancy is still illegal because of the real dangers of female foeticide. The culture of misogyny is pervasive, and we aid and abet it every day.

It is not a coincidence that the two great Sanskrit epics, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, both feature villains who abducted and assaulted women. Ravana not only kidnaps Sita, but also forces himself on the apsara Rambha and attempts to assault Vedavati. And the Mahabharata tells the story of Narakasura, who captured and imprisoned thousands of princesses. And if you thought the excuses and shaming that women face today are new, you can find them all in the epics already.

Kichaka is a powerful man in the Matsya kingdom of Virata -- he is the king’s brother-in-law. When the Pandavas are living incognito for a year, Kichaka repeatedly makes advances towards Draupadi. Yudhishthira, despite bearing witness to this, prevents Bhima from punishing Kichaka because the king has given the Pandavas shelter, and one must not hurt those who give one shelter.

In another episode in the Mahabharata, Draupadi is forcibly abducted by Jayadratha, the husband of the Kauravas’ sister Dushala, when the Pandavas are away. When Bhima and Arjuna rescue Draupadi and attack Jayadratha, Yudhishtira warns them, “Remember, although he is wicked, you must not kill him, thinking of Dushala and Gandhari.” Sounds similar to the excuses we make and hear to not ruin someone’s marriage or home or status by exposing abuse, does it not? Except the one making it is renowned for being the paragon of virtue here.

And whose idea was it to disrobe Draupadi in the Kaurava assembly? It is Karna who says, “We know of women having one husband. Draupadi, on the other hand, is dependent on many men. We know what she is, a whore. Whether she wears a single cloth or none at all, what difference does it make?” Despite knowing how it feels to be humiliated repeatedly for his caste and circumstances beyond his control, Karna seizes his chance to shame Draupadi.

Even Brihaspati, the guru of the gods, is said to have forced himself on his brother’s wife. We have a whole litany of male misdeeds -- this is not even the tip of the iceberg, and yet, whom do we blame for the Ramayana and Mahabharata wars? The women, of course.

While we must insist that governments do better and put safeguards in place, perhaps we should also stop pretending the country has ever been safe for women, and instead learn to do better at least now.