Nothing absolute about absolutes

Absolute is infinite so there is no absolute truth. There is truth that you can see in infinite ways and make your own.

Recently, I came across an article where the author writes about how degree certificates of married girls are as futile as the designer lehangas worn at their weddings. The problem with generalisation is the fact that we continue to paint a bleak picture of our society rather than acknowledge the sure and confident strides made by women. A calendar brought out to commemorate Indian women in science speaks volumes of those women who have not let circumstances bog them down.

The fact remains that for every few women who are giving up their career or ‘having their wings clipped’ there are women who travel on business trips, climb up the corporate ladder, all thanks to a robust support system. Contrary to popular perception, there is a growing section of men who are happy and willing to equally shoulder the responsibilities of taking care of children and household chores, while their wives are make a mark in the professional space.

There is no denying that there is a lot of inequality and a few households are still entrenched in archaic thoughts, but the fact remains that more and more women are doing extremely well in their career, breaking the myths and charting new pathways. Life has never been better as far as opportunities and possibilities are concerned in the present scheme of things.

The problem with thinking in absolutes is the fact that we are not open to possibilities. We look at people with a jaundiced perception of what was true or partially true at one point in time or true to a section of the world. This prevents us from searching for solutions as we are prepared for defeat even before we try. We either shy away from forming a healthy relationship lest it affects our present career or decide to play the victim card by accepting our lot. By closing our mind to possibilities, we stop ourselves from looking beyond the obvious.

Another drawback of absolutes is the fact that it leads to adopting a confrontational stance even before we try negotiation. Our pre-conception prevents us from open communication. Having said that, the patriarchal conventions are so ingrained in our society that we need to open our minds and consciously look at the silver lining rather than the cloud.

Doubtless, there is a need for systemic changes but to view that every time a woman is allowed to or not allowed to work is not taking into account the variables and possibilities of fabulous changes that is happening within our society. It also unfortunately reinforces the prejudices and perceptions of chauvinistic men and intolerant in-laws.

Finally, a look at matrimonial sites where more and more men are seeking ‘working girls’ will debunk the whole concept of degree certificate being as obsolete as the wedding finery.