<p>Remember the CD controversy that cropped up in the wake of the Karnataka cabinet expansion, and has since kept making news in one way or another? Some BJP legislators, annoyed at how the cabinet expansion ended for them, had accused Chief Minister Yediyurappa of making decisions in favour of certain ministers after being “blackmailed” using the contents of a CD. The Congress, of course, seized the opportunity to demand a probe. All very amusing. But wouldn’t it be nice to have someone like Upakosha around, talented as she was at catching people red-handed and exposing them for their lies?</p>.<p>Who is Upakosha? Glad you asked.</p>.<p>Upakosha is the heroine of a short story in the Kathasaritsagara (the ‘Ocean of Stories’). She was married, but her husband was away, so other men thought they could mess with her. One day, when Upakosha emerged from her bath in the Ganga and was walking back home, the king’s minister accosted her. He was a very powerful man, and she knew no one would take her seriously, so she told him to meet her on the night of the spring festival at a specific hour. She had barely walked some distance further when the king’s chaplain stopped her, much the same way. She told him to meet her the night of the spring festival too, but an hour later than she had told the minister. Next, the head magistrate made a pass at her. She arranged for him to visit an hour after the chaplain.</p>.<p>The next day, she needed some money, and visited the merchant that her husband had left a deposit with. The merchant told her she had no witnesses to prove that he had her husband’s money but offered to give it to her if she spent a night with him. She agreed to meet with him an hour after the magistrate. Finally, she went home and made preparations with her house help. She kept a large trunk ready, with secure fastenings on the outside. She also had lamp black mixed with scented oils.</p>.<p>On the appointed night, the minister arrived. Upakosha offered him spa services first, with a nice massage and bath. Before the massage (with the lampblack) was finished though, the chaplain was knocking on the door. The handmaids immediately warned the minister to hide in the huge trunk, lest his improprieties be discovered. They repeated the same ritual with the chaplain and the magistrate. Now, the three men were squeezed into a huge trunk when the merchant knocked at Upakosha’s door, all too terrified to even breathe lest their presence be discovered.</p>.<p>Upakosha brought the merchant into the seemingly empty room with the trunk and asked him for the money her husband had deposited. Seeing that they were alone, he said, “I told you I would give it to you after a night with you.” She announced out aloud, “Gods! Listen to these words of the merchant. He admits that my husband had deposited money with him.” She and her handmaidens then shoved him out into the streets.</p>.<p>The next morning, Upakosha marched to the king and lodged a case against the merchant. As evidence, she declared, “My husband kept the deities of the house in a trunk before he left, and the merchant admitted to having my money in the presence of those deities.” She brought the trunk to court, and announced to it, “Gods, if you do not testify to the truth, I will burn this box right here or open it!” The three terrified men called out that she was saying the truth. The merchant was forced to give her back her money.</p>.<p>The curious king asked for Upakosha’s consent to open the trunk and found three sorry men covered in soot. When the king discovered that high ranking officials in his kingdom were trapped in Upakosha’s trunk, he actually gave her a reward for exposing them. But who can imagine that happening outside of a story?</p>
<p>Remember the CD controversy that cropped up in the wake of the Karnataka cabinet expansion, and has since kept making news in one way or another? Some BJP legislators, annoyed at how the cabinet expansion ended for them, had accused Chief Minister Yediyurappa of making decisions in favour of certain ministers after being “blackmailed” using the contents of a CD. The Congress, of course, seized the opportunity to demand a probe. All very amusing. But wouldn’t it be nice to have someone like Upakosha around, talented as she was at catching people red-handed and exposing them for their lies?</p>.<p>Who is Upakosha? Glad you asked.</p>.<p>Upakosha is the heroine of a short story in the Kathasaritsagara (the ‘Ocean of Stories’). She was married, but her husband was away, so other men thought they could mess with her. One day, when Upakosha emerged from her bath in the Ganga and was walking back home, the king’s minister accosted her. He was a very powerful man, and she knew no one would take her seriously, so she told him to meet her on the night of the spring festival at a specific hour. She had barely walked some distance further when the king’s chaplain stopped her, much the same way. She told him to meet her the night of the spring festival too, but an hour later than she had told the minister. Next, the head magistrate made a pass at her. She arranged for him to visit an hour after the chaplain.</p>.<p>The next day, she needed some money, and visited the merchant that her husband had left a deposit with. The merchant told her she had no witnesses to prove that he had her husband’s money but offered to give it to her if she spent a night with him. She agreed to meet with him an hour after the magistrate. Finally, she went home and made preparations with her house help. She kept a large trunk ready, with secure fastenings on the outside. She also had lamp black mixed with scented oils.</p>.<p>On the appointed night, the minister arrived. Upakosha offered him spa services first, with a nice massage and bath. Before the massage (with the lampblack) was finished though, the chaplain was knocking on the door. The handmaids immediately warned the minister to hide in the huge trunk, lest his improprieties be discovered. They repeated the same ritual with the chaplain and the magistrate. Now, the three men were squeezed into a huge trunk when the merchant knocked at Upakosha’s door, all too terrified to even breathe lest their presence be discovered.</p>.<p>Upakosha brought the merchant into the seemingly empty room with the trunk and asked him for the money her husband had deposited. Seeing that they were alone, he said, “I told you I would give it to you after a night with you.” She announced out aloud, “Gods! Listen to these words of the merchant. He admits that my husband had deposited money with him.” She and her handmaidens then shoved him out into the streets.</p>.<p>The next morning, Upakosha marched to the king and lodged a case against the merchant. As evidence, she declared, “My husband kept the deities of the house in a trunk before he left, and the merchant admitted to having my money in the presence of those deities.” She brought the trunk to court, and announced to it, “Gods, if you do not testify to the truth, I will burn this box right here or open it!” The three terrified men called out that she was saying the truth. The merchant was forced to give her back her money.</p>.<p>The curious king asked for Upakosha’s consent to open the trunk and found three sorry men covered in soot. When the king discovered that high ranking officials in his kingdom were trapped in Upakosha’s trunk, he actually gave her a reward for exposing them. But who can imagine that happening outside of a story?</p>
