Walk away from hot potatoes

All of us know that there is really no point in arguing with someone who has no patience to hear our side of the story. When we see our words being struck down with disdain, we get carried away in the heat of the moment and indulge in violent vindictive verbose. Once the storm in the teacup has blown over, we realise that we have added to the existing problem instead of resolving it. So the next time we find ourselves in such a spot, we will do well to remember an episode from the Kumara Sambhavam of Kalidasa.

Parvathi had set her heart on marrying Shiva. She took up a severe penance to please him. Shiva observed the sincere activities of Parvathi. He was deeply impressed. However, he wanted to confirm her feelings for him. Therefore, he transformed himself into a good-looking and scholarly Brahmachari and appeared in front of the Yogini. Once the formalities of traditional small talk were completed, he launched into the subject of her penance and marriage.

Shiva, in the form of the young man, started listing out her plus points. He observed that she was a princess whose wish could become the command of the world. Besides, she was young, beautiful, well groomed, and accomplished in all ways. He wondered why on earth she should yearn for an ugly, dishevelled, uncouth, and penniless ascetic for a husband. Initially, Parvathi tried to tell the youth that he did not have an understanding of Shiva’s intrinsic goodness and personality.

When the invectives against her love interest continued, she clearly told him that he could keep his opinions to himself. Then, when the lady realised that the stranger had no intentions of terminating his disgusting and fruitless criticism, she was enraged. She knew it was pointless to talk to him, so she simply walked away from the spot. Shiva had met his match. He revealed his true form and proposed to marry her! All our arguments may not have a similar happy ending. But we can rest assured that walking away from an argument that leads to a dead end can be a good solution, albeit temporarily. Perhaps, when the hot potato cools down,
we will get a holistic picture of the issue, which will help us solve it amicably at a later date.