Why male behaviour needs a rethink in patriarchal society

As India celebrated its 78th Independence Day, one might question how independent and safe women in our country truly are, even after nearly eight decades of Independence. The brutal gang-rape and murder of a 31-year-old trainee doctor in the R G Kar Medical College and Hospital in Kolkata has shaken the nation’s conscience. As hospital authorities muddied the waters, the case was promptly handed over to the CBI, which is now piecing together evidence.

The Supreme Court of India has taken suo moto cognisance of the crime. The victim’s parents have expressed concerns about the true intentions of the hospital authorities, especially after being informed that their daughter had allegedly committed suicide. To add insult to injury, her body was hastily cremated.

Surprisingly, the silence of the women Members of Parliament of the Trinamool Congress (TMC) regarding this brutal murder has drawn widespread criticism. Sukhendu Sekhar Ray is the only TMC leader and Rajya Sabha MP who has raised tough questions about the police investigation into the rape and murder of the trainee doctor.

Unfortunately, rape and murder of women have become a recurring phenomenon in our country. Disturbing reports emerge daily of women being beaten up or strangled by their family members simply for not conforming to societal expectations. In a village in Meerut, Uttar Pradesh, a man killed his 17-year-old sister in public for having an affair with a boy from a different religion.

In Bareilly district, UP, a father, fearing social embarrassment, killed his 19-year-old pregnant daughter after she was allegedly raped. The message is loud and clear: Women in India are not safe even in their homes, let alone in hospitals and other public places. Simone de Beauvoir, in her seminal work The Second Sex, said, “One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.” In other words, gender roles are socially constructed, and women are often shaped by external expectations rather than their own desires. 

The horrific incident in Kolkata has cornered Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee. However, the blame game between political parties does little to address the core issue of male violence and perversion in a society where toxic patriarchy is normalised.

What should concern us all, as civilised citizens, is that women in our country continue to battle intrusive attention and objectification. They are stared at and subjected to obscene remarks daily, both on the streets and in public transport. Many suppress their emotions and feelings as a defence mechanism or survival strategy, whether in the workplace, on public transport, or at home, when faced with difficult situations. Recently, a 22-year-old postgraduate student in Delhi spoke out about being groped and inappropriately touched by an elderly man while travelling on the Delhi Metro.

The horrific 2012 Nirbhaya gang-rape in Delhi left an indelible mark on the nation’s consciousness, leading students and civil society to organise protest marches and candlelight vigils to seek justice for her. A similar protest movement has erupted across the country following the death of the female doctor in Kolkata, leaving the state government with no way to evade responsibility. 

The question is, can these campaigns and candlelight vigils truly bring about an attitudinal transformation among men in our society? From birth, many men experience a sense of entitlement and receive preferential treatment over daughters. They are conditioned by their parents to grow into arrogant alpha males. This mindset can become so deeply ingrained that a brother might kill his sister without a twinge of remorse, believing he has a god-sanctioned right to deliver instant justice — even if that means committing murder. Kiran Bedi, former Lieutenant Governor of Puducherry, recently stated that poor upbringing of boys is to blame for incidents of rape.

After the Nirbhaya rapists were hanged, there was a palpable sense of relief that justice had finally been served. But did this capital punishment serve as a deterrent in reducing the number of rape cases? Not really. According to government statistics, 86 rape cases occur every day in India.

Moreover, in urban areas, crimes against women often receive significant media attention, while in contrast, in remote rural areas, there are neither protest marches by civil society nor candlelight vigils to demand justice for the victims — even if they are underage. There should not be any selective outrage over these incidents. Sadly, many of the rape victims are unjustly held responsible for their plight.

Men target women, presuming them to be physically weak and unable to offer any resistance. The arrogance of physical superiority, coupled with a masculine ego, is woven into the tapestry of their whole being. To those who attacked the trainee doctor, the woman was merely an object, a plaything to be controlled, humbled, and overpowered. Murder became a natural corollary to the bestial act of violation. There may be many like them — disguising their true intent behind a facade of civility, waiting patiently for the right opportunity to strike. Furthermore, easy access to and addiction to pornography may fuel criminal tendencies in men as they seek out victims.

Indian society often treats emotionally sensitive men with disdain, labelling them as effeminate. They are often pressured to ‘act like a man’. This is because such behaviour, according to societal norms, violates the conventional code of masculinity. It’s no wonder that for decades, commercial movies have celebrated and glorified raw masculinity.

(The writer is a Delhi-based journalist)