A blind YouTuber’s story

Impaired by a defective cornea, Summaiya Khan is taking baby steps into the world of content creation. The 30-year-old has started a channel to show how people with disabilities run their lives.

I still remember the evening I decided to start my YouTube channel. It was last September. I was at work when the thought occurred to me. A wild mix of emotions swirled inside me. While I was excited that I had finally found a medium for the cause I wanted to represent, I was equally anxious. I did not have any experience of facing the camera, writing scripts, shooting videos, editing footage and mixing sound. I work as an officer for knowledge management with the Karnataka Health Promotion Trust (KHPT).

My plan was to make videos on how the blind go about their daily lives – take a bus to work, cook in the kitchen, hang out with friends, and browse social media. Seeing is believing, and I wanted to show how persons with visual disability co-exist in a world designed for and inhabited mostly by the able-bodied. The more the public saw how persons with disabilities (PWDs) functioned and even thrived, the more they would treat us ordinary folks. I thought this was a fun and practical way of driving inclusion in society.

And so, that evening, I searched YouTube and other platforms for the kind of content I wanted to put out. Apart from a few technical videos teaching the blind how to operate assistive devices, there was nothing substantial to fall back on. It increased my anxiety. I was not under the impression that what I was about to try was absolutely new, but at the same time, there was little I could find by way of reference online.

I went home straight from work, gathered my family and told them what I had in mind. A long silence ensued in the living room. One of them, I think my father, asked, ‘Do you think it is going to work?’

I put aside the scepticism, both mine and theirs. The family was unconvinced but I could sense the excitement building up in them. We were not sure how much this project would change our lives. But we hoped it would change the perceptions of our audience for whom how-to articles and public lectures have long been a source of knowledge about how people with disabilities live.

Let the shoot begin

I wanted my first video to set the context for my channel, which I call ‘Inclusion 360°’. I asked my audience if they had ever met a person with vision impairment, whether they had interacted with them, and what they felt about them. I kept it deliberately short, to just a minute. I thought a bite-sized video would be ideal to introduce the channel. Don’t forget it was also my first time as a content creator. I was nervous and shy.    

I shot the video at home, on my smartphone. The shoot turned into a fun little party. Besides my parents, my two cousins in their twenties were around to assist me. We must have shot and reshot the video a zillion times. When I managed to look in the direction where my brother or cousin was holding the camera, I would either mumble my lines or say something out of the script. Then we would stop recording and crack up. Just when we were ready to shoot, our house help would bustle in with a tray of lemonade or fruit juice in ceramic cups, prompting us to extend the break.   

In another video, Summaiya demonstrates how she uses Job Access With Speech, a popular screen reader, to work on a laptop.

Amid the clinking cups, the tangy taste of lemonade still fresh on the tongue, and the peals of laughter, we finished shooting and editing the clip. The one-minute clip took us many hours to make. The final content was just about ok. I don’t like the way my voice usually sounds, but since this was for a cause, I decided to play and replay my voice and make mental notes of how I could sound better the next time. A sense of happiness and motivation filled me, knowing that the video was going to go on a big platform and people would critically appraise it.

Except for a few patronising comments on my debut video, the feedback was largely encouraging. Some wanted me to make videos entirely about my accomplishments and the everyday challenges I face. But I consider myself a representative of the visually impaired community and did not want the channel to be all about myself. Others gave constructive criticism on the quality of the video.

Since I have a day job, I shoot only on weekends. I have uploaded 14 videos so far. They cover how blind people cook, how they read and write, how they go about parenting, and how they cope with depression. Some videos were shot without retakes. If videos are shot multiple times, it was because one of my parents was unhappy about the quality or I had missed out a line or the message had not come out the way I wanted it to. A video on my visit to a blind school was shot four or five times because I was running a fever. Every reshoot takes time and there is the anxiety that it may get pushed further. But I take pride in the quality.

I have just taken baby steps into the big, wide world of content creation — there are 51 million channels on YouTube. I have 488 subscribers and 1,800 views is the maximum any of my videos has clocked.

Family get-together

My YouTube channel is a home production and my parents, brother and one of my cousins form the production crew. I am particular about my appearance and my mother helps with makeup and costume. But she tends to overdo things sometimes. If my scarf is slightly askew, she takes 30 or 45 minutes to make it appear perfect. She keeps changing or adjusting things until I start sweating. Fun leads to fury after a point! Others take on recording or editing duties. My cousin has also appeared in a video where I show how the blind walk with a white cane.

In her most popular video, Summaiya shows how she cooks in the kitchen.

Where do I come in? You can call me the creative head. I am in charge of the script though I barely write it down or rehearse it. I conceptualise it in my head, creating the outline and sequencing the points I want to share. I want my videos to have a natural, impromptu flow. I also work out specifications of what I want to keep in and out of the frame, the kind of music to add, and how I want the video to come out post-production. I convey that to my family-cum-crew. They ask more details. Back-and-forth ensues, which often leads to silly fights. We settle for what best each can do and laugh about our differences later.

As a visually impaired person making videos with a crew of sighted people, a lot of my instructions get lost in translation. I have learnt I need to be clear about what I want, I need to structure my thoughts to a tee, and I need to convey my plan in precise terms.

Some skills are second nature. Many wonder how I maintain eye contact with guests during interviews. Since my school days, my parents have trained me to look at the person I am speaking to.

Pre-production comes with its own challenges. For a video titled ‘Blind Dine At Café Azzure’, I had to collaborate with a continental restaurant and a school for the blind to produce a Braille menu. On the day of the shoot, we randomly approached five diners at that restaurant and offered them free dining in exchange for having the experience of eating sightless. We blindfolded them. We asked them to walk up to their seats, pick up and use their cutlery, guess the food they were eating, and even share it among one another. After dining, the participants admitted it was challenging to handle food without seeing it. One said it made her consume the food with mindfulness.

Snippets of my life

The video I most enjoyed making was where I cooked paneer butter masala and ghee rice. It brought out my natural lively self on camera. I even bragged about how tasty the dishes turned out and some followers liked that display of spunk. Cooking is my favourite hobby and I know a lot of other visually impaired people like it too.

So, how do we cook? Keeping the jars with ingredients in a certain order could be one style, while some others use audio labels that a device can read out to them. Some of us may find the touch buttons of microwaves hard to figure out, and so some stick bindis on them. In the end, it is all about keeping everything from ingredients to pots and pans accessible to the touch.

Typing on a laptop or desktop is no different: it involves touch. The screen reader that reads out what is displayed on the monitor allows us to work the text the way we like it: putting bullet points or pasting an emoji for fun.

While we have found hacks or workarounds for everything, some things don’t change. I am 30 but my parents treat me like a child. I know why they are overprotective and it is endearing, but sometimes it gets to me. Navigating the city streets is a challenge, sure. From cluttered footpaths to stray animals and shady men, there is a lot to dodge.

Social leveller

I enjoy watching YouTube videos. Travel vlogs, celeb reviews, ‘What’s in my bag’ interviews with actresses, skin care reels, cooking videos, and tech talks are some things I browse. I also love comedy sketches by channels like Hyderabad Diaries, and Shitty Ideas Trending. In all, I watch anything that is light, cool and entertaining. As a new content creator, I am simultaneously learning from these videos–how to make my videos look lively, how to educate people without compromising on entertainment, how to add a personal touch, and how to increase engagement.

The one visually impaired content creator I avidly follow is Simron Chawla. She does in-depth reviews of cafés and restaurants in Delhi. Her channel is called Simran Chawla Vlogs. She has put out 455 videos and boasts of 6,200 subscribers.

On the one hand, I feel talents like Simran go unnoticed. On the other hand, I don’t want anybody to see us, disabled persons, as special. We are no more or less skilled than able-bodied folks. Our struggles to get discovered by new online users is similar, I would think. Like others, I was also camera conscious when I began. The idea of the camera focusing on me even though I can’t see it was unnerving. I have now grown comfortable with the medium. Actually, I think visual media is a leveller. I am just another content creator and I will survive as long as my content is good.

Real world gaps

But I have problems with being a visually impaired person in the visual world that we live in. People treat us with sympathy or find us inspirational. I detest the word ‘inspiration’. When people use that word, they remove people with disabilities from the rest of humanity as if we are superhumans. With my videos, I am reinforcing the idea that we deserve our space in this world like other ordinary people, and inclusive education and mobility will open a lot more doors for us.

For me, social media has opened a new door. I feel empowered to tell my story on my terms, represent my community, challenge perceptions, and find acceptance. I have also grown my skills. I now know that content creation demands multi-tasking. Some guests ask who the interview will benefit and how. I have learnt to sharpen my pitch and make it market-worthy.

I want my videos to keep showing things people do not expect from the visually impaired. I plan to do a vlog on inclusive travel, shopping, marriage between people with disabilities and those without disabilities, and unions between people with vision impairment and those with other disabilities. I also plan to add subtitles to my videos, so people with hearing impairments can tune in too.

In the end, inclusion is all about exploring the unknown, having unfettered access to your environment, and enjoying meaningful life experiences. My journey as a content creator has been satisfying that way.

(As told to L Subramani)