The joys of pre-loved clothing

I have no idea who coined the term ‘pre-loved’ for used clothes but that person surely deserves a pat on the back. The term has removed the negative imagery around ‘second-hand’ goods and made a sustainable and conscious way of living ‘cool’ and ‘fashionable’.

It was in 2019 when I fully let go of the veil of shame associated with used clothes and embraced the term ‘pre-loved’. Narsanna Koppula’s (one of the pioneers of the permaculture movement in India) words worked as seeds in my impressionable mind. Apart from his deep connection with the earth and all things nature, his sense of humour caught on with most of us who attended his permaculture design programme for two weeks in Zaheerabad, Telangana. I cannot forget what he said: “People come to the farm all the time and they leave behind things. Shoes, clothes, bags — perfectly good things. I take them in and use them.”

Despite having resources and access, Narsanna valued functionality over aesthetics. He reminded me how keeping things purposeful and in circulation until absolutely unusable might be the kindest and most practical way of living.

Cut to the present. About 40% of my wardrobe constitutes hand-me-downs, close to 50% are really old clothes that refuse to give up on me, and 10% comprise new clothing and accessories.

Wardrobe of stories

Although I am still learning the ropes of this mindful way of living and consuming, the results have been rewarding. My wardrobe today is full of ‘stories’.

In 2016, when I was pregnant, my partner’s ajji (grandmother) wanted to gift something to me and I ended up with her soft silks gently used for decades. Among them was an orange sari picked from a khadi exhibition, and a mustard-and-black combination that I wore to my brother’s wedding reception. Each time I wash them and wear them, I am taken back to a place of memories, warm and comforting.

In a small bundle of bottom wear rests a pair of linen beige trousers. It was handed down by my younger brother on an all-sibling road trip we took from Bengaluru to Kashmir in December 2020. Yes, in our 30s, we share the same waist size. These trousers are a sweet reminder of that journey and many others I have taken in them since. Recently, I wore them while hiking up the Gudibande Fort and then on to the Vatadahosahalli lake, both about 90 km from Bengaluru. They are also my train travel pants and casual walking pants.

To the right in my wardrobe hangs a beautiful white crochet top. A friend who no longer needed it gave it to me two years ago. It was not my style but it made me look dainty. I have worn it occasionally. Sometimes, when Marie Kondo and the joy of decluttering take over, we spend time in silence, asking if it wants to stay or leave. Then a pair of dragonfly earrings came home with me one night, when a friend, who had bought them for a close one, handed them to me instead. The danglers were pretty and my friend’s gesture filled me with gratitude. Do things of love pick their receivers?

This beautiful white crochet top was given to the author two years ago. It was not her style but it made her look dainty every time she wore it.

For someone like me who is a reluctant shopper, fuss-free wearer, and nascent-stage sustainable choice-maker, passed down wearables are functional love. But on rare occasions when I am attracted to a fresh piece of clothing, and if the price tag matches with the coins in my pocket, I do go for it. Love isn’t in resistance but flow.

Home truths

I am reminded of an incident from 2003. I was in Grade 12. While I had the right outfit for my school farewell party, I didn’t have the right footwear to go with it. I demanded that my father buy me a new pair of sandals. It was almost the end of the month, and my father, a village boy at heart, a fauji (armyman) by profession and sole provider for a family of five, had better plans. He borrowed sandals from our neighbour and handed them to me. I was flushed with embarrassment. So humiliating, I thought! As a parent of a seven-year-old now, I get the choice he made. Sadly, my father is no longer around to receive an apology.

Can I practise what I preach in my own household? Not easy. The struggle of living sustainably in a family setup where all members aren’t on the same page is real. Age-old conditioning around second-hand things being a tangible sign of scarcity or lack of means doesn’t help either.

A classic fall-out is our generation’s ‘parental’ need to get the best for our child. It was easier for me to source second-hand cloth diapers, baby carriers, books and toys for our child when he was a toddler. But as time passed, new, store-bought things took over. Recently, for a school function, a shirt-lungi outfit was needed; the kind that doesn’t get used again. Let’s borrow it, I told my partner. Let’s buy it, he suggested. We ended up shopping. I made my peace with the decision. Afterall, which family doesn’t disagree on things? However, next time something like this comes up, I will again endorse borrowing over buying.

Alibaug-based regenerative farmer and pre-loved wearer Samiksha Lohar agrees that often the ones to strike down our unpopular choices are our own people. “My mother feels that if I can afford new things why should I go for second-hand (goods). She feels the societal pressure.” It was Samiksha’s volunteering stint with a climate advocacy group that showed her the environmental costs of fast fashion and enabled her to make a switch.

Community corner

No road less travelled feels awkward with the right company. Tapshi Dhanda, a freelance editor, a dear friend and an inspiration, switched from shopping to sourcing in 2017. Currently, 80% of her wardrobe is pre-loved and reflects her style and personality. On rare occasions, when something new has called out to her, she hasn’t shied away from embracing it.

“I was never big on shopping, and after some time, shopping at malls felt dull, almost like a waste of time and mindspace. So, I began sourcing clothes from my close circle. Friends were happy to share. Some of the clothes I received came with tags,” Tapshi recalls.

She likens her new lifestyle to the language of love and gratitude. “People associate this way of living with scarcity of means, but to me it feels like abundance. My wardrobe is full of what I want and need. To appreciate this, one needs to value the sentiment and attach pride to it,” she says.

Tapshi narrates the example of ‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ to draw attention to how a single piece of clothing can bring joy to multiple wearers at different milestones in their lives. In this 2005 American film, four best friends living in Maryland in the US hatch a plan to stay connected as they spend their first summer apart. They buy a mysterious pair of pants that fits all of them despite their differing sizes. Each girl wears the jeans for a week before sending it to the others.

Not everybody is on the pre-loved journey for sustainability reasons though. Bengaluru-based UI designer and illustrator Lipika dove in after she discovered thrift stores on Instagram. Thrifting, or  shopping for pre-owned, well-curated items often at discounted rates, has caught on across the world.

This blue chikankari sari was given by the author's best friend who was moving abroad. Since she could pack pack fewer things, she passed on this as a keepsake.

Thrifting allows Lipika to stand out from fast fashion wearers. Or, as she says, “I did not want to end up looking like everyone else on the street.” It’s not hard to see why. Irrespective of whether you shop at malls or online, in Bengaluru or Boston, markets are saturated by mass fashion brands. They manufacture clothes in bulk with little variations in designs. 

But Lipika says she has found vintage corsets, a Valentino jacket at a “super affordable price”, and sweaters from Japanese brands in thrift e-stores.

Knocking conscience

In the capitalist world, selfless community things such as exchanging used goods can lose direction if not consciously put into the supply chain. Surplus stores that buy and sell these ‘rejected’ clothes play a positive role in doing that.

Ashwini Amarnath, who has worked in the surplus clothing business for nearly 16 years, explains the awful side of mass-produced fast fashion. “Clothes made for leading brands get rejected or are burnt for very small reasons. Sometimes it is a misplaced button or a double stitch. It is a sheer waste of labour and raw material.” 

How to start

Asking for or giving things without inhibition isn’t easy. That is where the need to cultivate an inner circle comes in — a set of non-judgemental, caring group you can source things from, share things with, and put back in cycle what is no longer of value or need.

Around September, I was looking for a pair of dark-coloured cotton trousers. And soon, a pair of dark blue linen pants walked into my cupboard. A friend had received it from her friend but since their sizes didn’t match, she passed them on to me. I have begun to believe that things come to you, people come to you, when you need them. And it’s humbling.  

But as someone on the receiving end, one may get bullied into bringing home something that may not be of use or value. Some people simply assume that their joy of giving will translate into joy of receiving. A close relative, tactful much, possesses a knack of passing on things that she no longer wants to home. And some givers continue their shopping sprints after massaging their guilt for a while.

It’s important to be assertive and say ‘no’ to what doesn’t speak to you. If you hesitate to say ‘no’, pass on what you receive to someone who may be interested. It is also important to give just as much as you take.

Collective effort

We are at this point where we need to mind our choices, and watch how much we consume across all aspects of our daily life. Our habit of using and junking everything from clothes and furnishings to gadgets and plastic carry bags in the name of free will and access is polluting oceans, hurting wildlife, and raising global temperatures. The results include mountains of garbage, created from things that are perfectly fit to reuse. Yes, recycling is catching up. Still, it is an expensive and energy-intensive process, and not all waste is recyclable.

Were we always like this? Those of us who grew up in the ’90s and before may remember the jokes about how a sari went on to become a salwar-kameez, sheer curtain, cushion cover, and then, if still intact, a cloth to wipe things. Tears and cuts were bound to occur and a sewing machine or a repair kit with threads and needles was always close at hand.

Fortunately, the younger generation is revisiting old habits of ‘Reduce, Recycle, Repurpose’. Buying less and going on a shopping fast (akin to digital detox) are also picking up in India. To start with, you save money, you have less to worry about, you use what you actually have, and lastly, you make a humble attempt at nipping consumerism. There is much to appreciate about hand-me-downs and, maybe it’s time to call them hand-me-ups.

What is new?

Are there only women in this cycle of thrifting, retaining, fixing, altering and making good of what already exists? I tried to look for answers from the other side, to get a male perspective on this. I found none. Plus, think of it, when it comes to gadgets, motor parts and cars, men usually don’t shy away from pre-owned goods. When they use second-hand cars, they are appreciated for saving money. I am not sure if the same appreciation is given to the exchange of used clothes. People start fussing about ‘hygiene’.

The thought of wearing someone else’s socks has never appealed to me either but there is also a whole lot one can safely re-home. Haven’t we brought into our lives clothes that were previously bought, tried, returned, and exchanged? Online purchases come in contact with skins, innumerable times, before finding a ‘home’ body. What is exactly new?

So many arguments for and against the pre-loved movement still haunt me every day. If one can afford something new, why not? Especially if one could not afford it growing up. Self-love is important and there is little doubt a good outfit can lift one’s confidence greatly. But then, some believe that ‘bad energy’ may get passed on through used things. And how much of a difference can a micro-initiative like second-hand clothing make to this giant planet? 

Even I find myself desiring more sometimes. What if there is better access to money tomorrow, will I make decisions differently? I often wonder.

But then, there is a life that happens to you and a life that you make happen. I have chosen to become more mindful of the choices I make today and acknowledge that I am more than what I wear.

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