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The new work-life balance: Don’t have kids

Having children is still a powerful ideal. Yet more people are deciding that there are too many obstacles to integrating children into their lives — inflexible jobs, soaring day-care costs and the challenge of finding a spouse willing to share the household load.
Last Updated : 05 February 2024, 03:52 IST

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Credit: Bloomberg

Credit: Bloomberg

If parents are so happy, why are young people so reluctant to join their ranks?

The financial pressures are real. It has not gotten easier to pay for rent, health care or tuition over the last 30 years. The costs of having children have risen, too — day-care costs have soared, and today most financial planners tell parents to start saving at least $300 a month for college from birth. You don’t need a Wharton MBA to figure out that this is some tough math.

But I think this goes beyond dollars and cents. There is social honor in pursuing a prestigious career. By contrast, the joys of parenting are profound, but private.

Affluent Americans treat work as a calling, exhorting their children to “do what you love and love what you do.” In fact, despite the delight most parents take in their children, far more parents say it’s vital that their children enjoy their work than have kids of their own.

Credit: Bloomberg

Credit: Bloomberg

But no matter how much you love your job, it will never love you back. A boss isn’t going to hold your hand on your deathbed.

Millennials and Gen Zers know that. So I think to really understand younger people’s ambivalence about becoming parents, we must confront another hard truth: American society does not value children.

Sure, kids are cute. But as a matter of policy, we almost always find something else to prioritize. We know parental leave reduces infant mortality, but we think corporate profits should come first. We know that guns are the leading cause of death among kids, but we’ve decided Second Amendment rights are more important. We chronically underpay teachers and caregivers; we underfund education, especially for the youngest kids; we hand out tax cuts to grownups and saddle our children with staggering government debt. We have spent decades avoiding meaningful action on climate change.

And in the workplace, it’s often still legal to discriminate against people with family responsibilities. A pregnant, nursing or disabled worker can request certain accommodations, but parenthood is not a federally protected characteristic like race or sex.

America could make different policy choices. We could decide to make it easier to be a parent and much safer to be a kid. We could run our companies in a much more family-friendly way. But we won’t make these choices if we keep heading down the path we’re on — to a world where children are seen as a luxury rather than our future.

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Published 05 February 2024, 03:52 IST

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