You’ve goat to be kidding me

Thru’ the Looking Glass

“Which animal is this?” I reluctantly asked the shopkeeper as I pointed to the tray of mutton mince for sale behind the counter. He looked at me oddly. “Is it goat or is it sheep?” I (sheepishly) elaborated. “It’s goat, madam,” he replied, bemused. “Ah, okay, I want sheep instead. Do you have any?” “No, madam.” Disappointed, I left yet another meat shop in Mumbai empty-handed. At least the shopkeeper was honest with me, though. Not all have been.

In Western countries, mutton is actually mature sheep. Lamb is a tender young one. However, in India, mutton and lamb are commonly both goat. A completely different animal. Oh, the confusion!

I remember the time I thought I’d finally found sheep mince in Mumbai. It was a jubilant moment. However, as soon as I started cooking the meat, much to my horror, I realised I had been deceived. It was not sheep at all. The strong, gamey aroma distinctly gave it away as being goat. And, it was, quite frankly, repulsive. There was no way I could eat it. The planned evening meal was duly cancelled and food ordered in from a restaurant.

Goat meat is rarely consumed in the West and, unfortunately, I’m not used to it. While I personally find the pungent smell of goat off-putting, it doesn’t dampen demand for the meat in India. Upon coming to terms with goat’s popularity, I abandoned my futile search for sheep. Yet, I remained perplexed as to why goat is invariably called mutton or lamb here. That is, until I read Vir Sanghvi’s recent food column. As it turns out, it’s a blatant lie! And the reason for the lie? Apparently, to appease the “delicate sensibilities” of foreigners and their prejudice against goat!

You may have heard of the English expression “mutton dressed as lamb.” This derogatory label is often applied to older women who attempt to look young by wearing clothes and make-up more suited to someone of a lesser age. In India, we have “goat dressed as mutton.” Who would’ve thought?

It’s time to stop lying and pretending, says Sanghvi. I wholeheartedly agree! It has nothing to do with the inferiority, or otherwise, of goat though. I just want to know what I’m getting without having to conduct an awkward investigation.

Some foreigners may be surprised to find goat on the menu in India, but who cares? Those who are adventurous will no doubt want to try it. Others will choose something else. I don’t rule out eating goat as long as it doesn’t taste gamey and I don’t have to prepare it. It’s not something that upsets my sensibilities. To be honest, there are other dishes that I do find offensive and refuse to touch, despite them being deemed delicacies. Most involve body parts such as paya (trotter) soup, bheja (brains) fry, khiri (udder), and fish heads. They are what they are though. No one passes them off as something more mainstream and acceptable. In fact, when making fish curry, my mother-in-law once went to the special effort of saving the fish heads for me. Thankfully, she’s understanding of my occasionally “odd” eating habits and was bemused more than anything when I declined what she considered to be delicious.

I feel a little better knowing that finicky foreigners have made a few positive contributions to India’s culinary landscape, though. Just think if, according to legend, it wasn’t for the British who disliked getting their fingers dirty when eating kebabs, a paratha may never have been wrapped around the meat and Kolkata wouldn’t have gotten its famous kathi roll.

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